


Shake it Off

by A_Padfoot



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Asshole Peter, Asshole Tony, BOXES, Bondage, Comfort, Eventual Smut, Good Deadpool, Hurt, M/M, Self Harm, Self-Hatred, Sex, Spideypool - Freeform, Suicide, cross dressing, inappropriate web usage, jerking off, vengeful wade, vulnerable wade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-21 01:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4809005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Padfoot/pseuds/A_Padfoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool is determined to be a good guy. A super hero like Spider-Man. <br/>The Avenger's get involved once they realize the merc has been spending a lot of time with Peter. They're determined to get Peter to see sense, not realizing the added stress is causing Peter to slip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Communicating with Spiders

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  -Why is it Spideypool? Not Deadman?-  
> "No one is going to ship Deadman."
> 
> Anyway... I'm trying to get up to 1,500 words a day so I'm prepared for NaNoWriMo. My chapter's are going to be approximately 3,000 words. So you should expect an update every 2 days. I have no idea how long this will be. I'm experimenting with this fic a bit.

[He won't want to help you.]

{He's a superhero, he'll have to help!}

“And he adores us!” Deadpool chirped.

All the blood was causing his head to pound. 

[Maybe you should stop hanging upside down.]

{But we want to be like Spider-man and he hangs upside down!}

Deadpool shifted so he swung slightly. A breeze would make this more entertaining at least.

[You could just tag a billboard! That'd get his attention!]

He sighed and reached into one of his pouches. 

Explosives? Spidey isn't going to be impressed with us if we blow something up.

“But he'll be here,” Wade snarled at his boxes. He cut the rope and dropped - [Was that necessary? We hurt ourself!] - into a pile on the hard cement. He groaned and held out his right arm. He had managed to break his wrist.

“It'll heal fast enough,” he said simply.

The pain is entertaining. [No the pain HURTS.] {We always hurt ourselves!} 

He chucked an explosive at the wall. It really lit up the sky with orange and red, leaving behind only a black mark on the building. He continued to throw them. Either Spidey will show or the cops will. Either way he wouldn't be bored and stuck with his boxes.

[That's rude. We're helping you.]

{We're always trying to help you. If you would only listen-}

“I don't want to listen!”

“Well that's too bad,” a voice responded.

There was a dull thump and Deadpool turned to see Spider-man. His arms were crossed and even with a mask on, Deadpool could sense his disappointment.

“Baby Boy! I knew that would get your attention. You'll have to give us your number,” He managed to slide up to Spider-man but the hero took a step back.

[We knew he'd be upset. We should have just tagged the billboard.]

“I don't think he would have liked that much better.”

Spider-man hit him with a web to get his attention back on him.

“Wade, what are you doing here?”

[He's interested in us!]

{He's concerned about the citizens, his city, not us.}

“I want to train with you. I want to be like you, I want to be a hero.”

[Do the puppy eyes.]

{We're wearing a mask, he can't see the puppy eyes.}

[So take the mask off!]

{So we can scare him away?}

“He's talking,” Wade grumbled. He had a lot of experience listening over his boxes, but sometimes they were distracting. For his credit though, Spider-man paused before starting over.

“You're not a hero though, Wade. You kill people. Hero's don't kill people. You always have a choice and you always manage to make the wrong one. I can't trust you to keep anyone safe.”

His heart plummeted.

[We're just bad news.]

{We knew it. He doesn't want us around.}

[He doesn't like us. He certainly doesn't adore us.]

“We just want to be better than what we are.”

 He pulled out his rope and turned his back on Spider-man.

{Are we going to find a different hero to learn from?}

[None of them like us either.]

“Wade, wait.”

He tried not to smile. His lips were twitching as he turned around. His body buzzing with excitement.

[He's going to help us!]

{Maybe he's going to escort us out of the city.}

He wanted to be hopeful and his baby boy didn't disappoint him.

“Everyone deserves a chance. But if I find out this is just some game or another job for you to make money, you'll wish you hadn't betrayed me. Do you understand that?”

[YES.]

{He's letting us!}

[This is why we love him!]

“Yes, we understand!”

Spider-man narrowed his eyes skeptically.  “Ground rules. You follow my directions.” [No fun.] “No killing people.” [We're not really going to promise that, are we?] “No unnecessary destruction. No stealing.”

“Can you repeat that?” Wade asked, holding his head. Please be quiet, he thought. He wanted to focus and comprehend what Spider-man wanted from him, not get it confused with what his boxes wanted. Spider-man repeated himself. “We're going to the docks tonight. If you need me to repeat the rules, just ask,” Spider-man said as he put his hand on Deadpool's shoulder. “I want this [HE'S TOUCHING US!] to go smoothly.”

“Yes, sir!”

Spider-man shot out a web and swung into the sky, leaving Deadpool to scramble up the building.  {We could teleport to the top, why make it harder?}

[Teleporting is boring.]

“That's why we don't do it any more!”

He scaled the building with his rope instead and ran after Spider. The air was crisp in his lungs. The moon bright in the sky.

[Spidey has a wonderful ass!]

{Oh my god our view of it is perfect. It really is something to behold.}

The blue spandex shimmered in the light, and he wondered if Spider-man was aware his outfit almost glowed, each cheek so plump and well defined in the light.

“He does have the best ass out of all the heroes,” he agreed eagerly. 

[We should grab it.]

{There isn't a rule against grabbing his ass.}

 

Peter was buzzing with nervous energy. Deadpool was chaos. He didn't think Wade really understood what his actions did, which was a huge concern. But if Wade wanted to change, wanted to help people, than he needed guidance. Peter wasn't entirely sure he was the right person to do it, but he didn't think anyone else would be willing. Besides, Deadpool had trusted him and that had to mean something. Tonight was going to be easy enough. No super bad guys, just regular ones. The two of them could handle it without much fuss and it would allow Spider-man to keep an eye on Deadpool. He dropped behind some boxes and waited until he heard the soft thud of Deadpool's arrival. His temporary partner crowded so close he could feel his body heat. The smell of taco's wafted towards him. His stomach growled. So much for skipping lunch. He felt a hand fall heavily on his shoulder, causing him to jump.

“We'll get tacos after this. They're great after a good fight.”

Spider-man's stomach grumbled in response, but he decided to stay focused instead of drooling over food he couldn't afford.

“Over there,” Spider-man said as he pointed. “We're going to hit that group. I want you to come from here. I'll signal you.”

“Where are you going?”

“I'll be on the roof. When I take out the first two, that's your signal to strike.” He turned to Deadpool and grabbed his arm tightly. “Remember, no killing.”

“No k word. Got it,” Deadpool smirked and saluted him. Spider-man stared at him for a moment before sighing. He had to trust him, otherwise this would never work. He took to the sky swinging silently to the top of the building. He found Deadpool, poised with his katanas out. His stomach lurched. He did remember no killing, right? He had an urge to double check but mentally shook himself. Spider-man hit one man with a web and yanked him up. He caught him, webbed him securely and then dropped down to take the man's place. It took a moment for his friend to realize his partner had been replaced.

“You!” He yelped, practically falling over himself.

“The one and only!” He responded and webbed him in the face. Things quickly turned into a blur. He turned to find red and black zipping through the small group and he was singing.

“Nice to meet you Where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven, sin! Saw you there and I thought oh my god-”

[Why does he try to sing?]

{We're good at it!}

[No we're not! ]

“NO KILLING, DEADPOOL!” Spider-man yelled, hoping he wasn't too late with the reminder. The merc only paused to turn, winking at him. “I'm signing, not k wording!”

“So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain”

“Taylor Swift?” Spider-man asked as he swung over. The men were all beaten unconscious or webbed up. He pushed one over with his boot and flinched. The man's face had been beat bloody. He would need surgery to fix that nose. He glanced up at Wade. He was already doing the puppy eyes. He was eager for validation. That he did good. Spider-man looked around. The truth was he didn't say not to beat them badly. He said not to kill them. Which Wade had refrained from killing anyone. He was merely exubiriant with his fighting. That could be worked on. He stepped closer.

“So Taylor Swift?”

“She's great. Love all of her songs,” Wade answered in a rush. “So...”

“So you did good. No one is dead. A few will need surgery but that can be worked on. The goal is to use the least amount of force necessary.”

Wade nodded as if he understood.

“Maybe we should spar so you can get the practice on someone who doesn't bruise as easily.”

“Tacos first, Spidey.” He grabbed Spider-man's arm and tugged. “Come on! Up, up, and away! You take us, I'll buy.”

That got Spider-man's attention he perked up. “What do you mean by take us?”

Suddenly he was spun around and Wade had jumped on his back. “SPIDER BACK RIDE!”

He stumbled before he managed to balance Wade's additional weight. A laugh came out as a snort. “No singing,” he warned. He shot out a web and took the both into the sky.

“You can show me the world Shining, shimmering, splendid Tell me, Spider, now when did You last let your heart decide? “

“I will drop you.”

The singing stopped but Deadpool kept fidgeting.

“Where is this taco place?”

Deadpool brought them to a tiny food cart that was preparing to close. He had Spider-man turn around as he changed into a pair of blue jeans and a red Spider-man hoodie. He pulled the hood tight, waved at Spiderman to stay put and went to the cart. The old man blinked at Deadpool for a moment and then cracked a toothless grin.

“My best customer!” The man began reopening his containers. “The usual?”

“Double it, I've got a friend tonight,” Wade said. The man stilled at his words and then did a little skip.

“You keep me in business. So a date is it? They must have similar taste to be impressed by tacos.”

“He's got the best taste, but it's not a date. It's dinner after a job well done,” Wade explained.

Spider-man watched as Wade tightened his hood once more. Obviously a nervous tick. He couldn't go around wearing his mask but it once more became obvious he wasn't comfortable with his face showing. They settled on a nearby rooftop, watching the little old man pack his cart and begin wheeling it down the street. Spider-man pulled up the bottom of his mask so he could eat. Wade only opened his hood enough for the taco to fit.

“I don't mind your face, Wade. You can eat comfortably.”

Suddenly the taco was put down. Peter frowned and turned to his companion.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Peter snorted. “I'm trying to hide my identity. Everyone knows who you are,” he argued.

“We wear masks for different reasons, Spidey, but mine are still valid. If I want to show my face, I will.”

Spider-man held up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. I just wanted to let you know I'm not going to stop eating just because of your face. Ego much.”

He picked up another taco just as there was a loud bang. They both froze before jumping into action. Spider-man assumed Deadpool would follow at a run, he didn't expect the sudden weight as the merc jumped on his back, mid-swing. He strangled Spider-man a bit until he righted them and kept going. They found the taco cart vendor in a pool of his own blood. Spider-man's stomach turned over but Deadpool was all business. He carefully examined the wound and growled. “This was a professional hit-”

Spider-man's spider sense went off. “Get down!” he yelled, knocking Wade off his feet. Pain burst through his shoulder, throwing him around so he landed on his back. His vision was popping. He knew there was danger, his spider sense wouldn't stop blaring. But he couldn't focus to sit up. Firm hands grabbed him and tossed him on to their shoulder.

“Wade?” He managed to ask.

“Yes.” That was the only response Spider-man wanted. He was safe enough. The spider sense no longer blaring and he allowed himself to pass out.

What he woke to was chaos. Apparently while he was slowly healing and in a puddle of his own blood, Wade had taken it on himself to take care of the person who attacked them. They were in a warehouse. Spider-man sat up and gasped. A man was chained by his hands so he was dangling from the ground. Wade had a table out with various sharp tools. At the moment his beloved katana was in one hand and he was gently digging the tip into the man's shoulder.

“It'd be so much easier if you would just spill the man's name, Jellybean.”

“Wade!”

Deadpool spun around. He gasped and flounced over. It was only then that Spider-man realized he was wearing a dress. The same maid's dress he's worn before.

“Are you torturing him?” he hissed as the man got closer. Deadpool's smile dropped like a ton of bricks.

“Heroes don't torture?” He asked.

“No! Heroes do not torture people.”

“But he killed the taco man and tried to kill you!. He's lucky I didn't kill him.”

“Deadpool, being a hero is about justice. Not revenge.” 

“There's a difference?” The merc asked as he sat down crossed legged. Spider-man pushed himself up, holding his shoulder gingerly. It was story time. He waved his hand at the man currently hanging from the rafters.

“We're going to have a talk but can you get him down and stop him bleeding first?”

“You're too sensitive, baby boy,” Deadpool responded. He stood, patting him on the head and went to their prisoner. Peter's stomach growled. They never did get to finish dinner. That was his life though. Bullet's in the shoulder, insane mercenaries, and a lack of food.


	2. Bedtime Stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {The big talk!}  
> [It was bound to come up, great responsibility and all that.]  
> }Do we pretend that these stories are new to us?{  
> [Duh. He doesn't even know we know who he is.]  
> }We do?!{  
> [I think so? I mean we read his comics don't we?]
> 
>  
> 
> So I wasn't sure what Wade actually knows about Spider-man. I tried asking other fans and couldn't get an answer. So I'm going to assume that Wade knows but usually forgets. 
> 
> }Rude.{
> 
> Also I've been listening to Taylor Swift the entire time I've been writing this fic. If someone could make a music video of Deadpool doing Shake it Off, I would love you forever. I will write you a one shot or stick a chapter in here based off your idea. Whatever. I need this and lack the talent for it. 
> 
> Anyway, story time, kids!

Wade had secured their prisoner with some chains and a gag ball he found under his bed. The man's jaw wasn't broken but it was dislocated. He was tempted to snap it back in place but didn't want Spider-man to think he was torturing the guy. The man glared up at him as the ball popped into his mouth.

“Don't look at me like that, this is your fault,” he snarled. “If you hadn't shot at me, killed my taco guy, and hurt my Spidey, you wouldn't be in this situation!”

}You tell him, boss.{  
[Put the fear of Deadpool in him.]  
}Yeah, people don't fear us enough.{

He growled at his boxes but was interrupted by Spider-man calling him over. He patted the man on the cheek, a loud splatting noise coming from all the blood and turned to his arachnid. Spidey was propped up against some pillows. He had one knee drawn up with his arm thrown over it. He was watching Deadpool as he secured their baddie. 

}Oh Spidey you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind{  
[Hey, Spidey! Hey, Spidey!]  
“Do you think he likes our dress?”  
}Totally{  
[He can't take his eyes off of it.]

“I don't think he's paid much attention, Deadpool. You were just digging a sword into his chest,” Spider-man pointed out. Wade shook his head as he settled down next to him.

}I bet you could pretend to fall asleep and let your head land on his shoulder!{  
[Or be smooth, yawn and put an arm over him!]  
}That's stupid.{  
[You're stupid!]  
}We're the same person!{

Spider-man was pulling his bandages off. Wade leaned over, concerned. He didn't know if he had super healing. He winced at the bloody wound. It hadn't healed nearly as fast as Wade would have. 

“Are you okay?” 

Spidey shrugged.

“It'll be fine. I don't have your speedy healing powers but I still heal faster than a normal person.”

He pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them.

“This is going to be hard for me to talk about, Wade. I think you should understand why I do the things I do. Maybe then you'll find it easier to act on it.”

}Origin story!{  
[His uncle dying isn't anything to be excited about.]  
}Our origin story is exciting.{  
[We must not remember the same story.]

“So because I didn't do what was right, because I didn't help someone in need, I allowed a thief to hit the streets. I suppose it's only fitting that it was my Uncle that lost his life that night. I know he wouldn't have wanted anyone else to be hurt because of my mistakes.”

“I ...can relate to using your powers for money,” Wade said slowly. His finger tapping thoughtfully at his chin. “I can relate to killing the mofo who killed your uncle.”

“Is that all you took from it?” Spider-man asked, a bit exasperated. He pulled his mask up over his mouth. “I wish I could take this off entirely.”

“Yes and remember, I”ll show you mine if you show me yours!” He waggled his eyebrows at Spidey enthusiastically. His Spider recoiled a bit.

“It's fine! I'm just a bit tired of wearing it. Plus we never did finish our tacos-”

There was a flurry of movement and a soft plop as a brown paper bag dropped in front of him.

“Our tacos! How did you -” he stopped and glared at him suspiciously. “WHERE were you hiding them?”

“Uh in one of my pockets. I have a lot of them.”

“One in each pocket? None of them look big enough!”

“It's my trade secret. I had it copyrighted and everything.”  
}Liar.{  
[It's true!]  
“It counts as copyright when you send the idea to yourself in an envelop right?” Deadpool asked, holding out the sealed envelop. 

“I...don't know,” Spider-man replied. He picked up a taco though. Like he was going to continue to go hungry. His body needed the food after that bullet in the shoulder.

“Hey did you ever pull the bullet out?” he asked suddenly.

Deadpool blinked his doe eyes at him.

“Why would I do that?”

Spider-man groaned. He finished his taco and pulled his shirt off.

“Get something sharp. You're going to have to re-open my wound and pull the bullet out.”

“Why?”

“Because I can't have a bullet in me. If a metal detector goes off, how can I explain that? How can I sneak around if metal detectors are going to y'know detect me.”

“Point.”

He wasn't entirely comfortable having Deadpool looming over him with sharp objects, but he didn't have much of a choice at the moment. It had to come out and the longer they waited, the worse it would be on him. He certainly wasn't looking forward to healing the same wound again in under 24 hours. 

Wade was trembling with nerves. It was one thing to save Spider-man when he was unconscious and unable to protest. It was an entirely different level of trust to have him ask for help and allow Wade to be near him with sharp objects. He pulled his table over to them. He paused for a moment, considering how intricate the work would be and decided to pull his mask off. 

Spider-man's eyes widened but he didn't say anything as the merc grabbed up a scaple, poked his tongue out and pressed the blade into his skin. Wade's eyes flickered up to his face but Spider-man didn't even hiss in pain. He was looking up at the rafters, like he was trying not to pay attention to what was going on. 

Once the wound was reopened, Wade tossed the scaple aside and grabbed up forceps to pull the bullet out. He grabbed Spider-man's hand and that's when he finally met his gaze.

“This is going to hurt like a son of a bitch, if you need to crush my hand, go for it.”

He didn't wait for a response. Wade plunged the forceps in until he knocked against the metal bullet and pulled it out. Spider-man didn't crush his hand but he did jerk violently when the forceps first entered. He brought the bullet up to eye level. Using his thumb he brushed off some of the blood. The initials AK were imprinted on them. He snorted. Allison Kemp? Either someone was trying to frame her or the agent was getting stupid. He flicked it away.

“Why do you have surgical tools anyway?” Spider-man asked after a moment.

“Enhanced interrogation techniques,” he replied smoothly. Spider-man snorted.

“You should work for the government.”

“Where did you think I learned all my awesome moves?” he said. He was gathering up his tools, not bothering to clean them. 

}Bad guys don't need clean tools.{  
[If they're disgusting it might encourage them to talk faster.]

“Can you at least clean those? They were clean when you used them on me, right?” Spider-man asked, his voice a bit high with concern. Wade snorted.

“No, bad guys don't deserve clean tools and yes, they were. Only the best for my baby boy.”

Spider-man didn't look reassured.

“Oh the bad guys? Oh well then by all means, treat them without any human dignity. After all, that's clearly the lesson I've been trying to imprint on you this entire time, Deadpool.”

“Was that sarcasm?” Wade asked.

“Yes!”

“Fine, I'll keep my enhanced interrogation tools clean.”

“Can we talk about not torturing the bad guys? I know they're bad guys, but we're supposed to be – No, we must be better than that,” Spider-man said, suddenly serious. 

“Why?”

“My uncle once told me that with great power came great responsibility. We have the responsibility to be better. We're trying to make this world a better place and we won't do that be inflicting pain.”

“We're showing them there's a reason not to harm others,” Wade ground out. “We're the reason. If we don't make them suffer, who will?”

“It's not our job to make anyone suffer, we're supposed to end the suffering,” Spider-man replied, he was sitting a bit stiffer, voice a bit louder. 

}Clearly, we're upsetting him.{  
[Clearly, he has a guilt complex!]  
“Shut up,” Wade snarled at his boxes.

}Someone's sensitive this morning.{  
[Quick get some tissues and comfort food.]  
}Mint chocolate chip ice cream?{

“Fine!” Spider-man stood up, swaying on his feet. “I'll shut up, I”ll go but don't come back wanting to be a hero when you obviously don't.”

Wade jumped to his feet.

“No, Spidey that's not what I meant-”

“Yeah? You're not proving anything. I tried to help, there's only so much I can do.”

}Don't say it.{  
[It would be manipulating him but a guilty conscious is for Spidey, not us.]

“So you're going to abandon me when I'm trying to learn? Now I understand your stories, Spidey. It wasn't about responsibility. It was about skirting it.”

If there was any time that Wade wish he didn't have his mouth, that was the moment. If looks could kill, he would finally die because Spider-man was equal parts mad and cut by the comment. He looked around nervously.

“But I suppose that's the best you can do with a failure like me, am I right? So don't worry about it. You swing on out of here and I'll wear my What Would Spidey Do bracelet and hope I don't fuck things up too badly.”

“Wade...”

“Really, it's fine. I shouldn't have even asked.”  
[Keep talking, I'm sure that'll drive him away.]  
}No, singing would drive him away. This is making him feel guilty.{  
[You've got the Spider wrapped around your pinky!]  
}Our pinky!{

“I'm sorry! All right? I shouldn't have snapped. You are learning and- and it's fine that you ask questions. I'm not used to training other heroes, all right? I work alone.”

“Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely,  
I have nobody for my own  
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely  
I have nobody for my own  
I'm so lonely.”

“Wade!” Spider-man yelled. “What did I say about singing?”

“Do it louder and more often because you can't resist my charming voice, right handsome? So what are we going to do about our bad guy?” he jerked his head in the man's direction. 

Spider-man pulled out a little white spider that was blinking red.

“Don't argue with me, just trust me, got it?” He asked. Wade nodded and pulled his mask back on.

“Backstreets back, baby!”

Spider-man rolled his eyes. As he began to unchain the man he could sense Wade becoming stiff. He didn't offer any help. Which was fine by him, it made it easier to stick the tracker to the man. He just hoped he wouldn't ask why they were letting him go until the man was long gone. Tipping him off would make the guy worthless and they needed a lead on something.

“Can you walk?” 

The man nodded. The gag ball was still obstructing his crocked mouth. Spider-man winced as he reached for it.

“Please don't yell. This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. Sorry.”

Once the ball was removed, the man rubbed his jaw. He shot Deadpool a nervous look before asking, “Why are you letting me go?”

“It's the right thing to do. You're not the one who orchestrated this. You're a lackey. Just be glad I didn't wrap you up for the police.”

The man nodded, his face a bloody mess of confusion but he got to his feet and ran out of the building anyway. Dead pool took his place in front of Spider-man. His arms crossed and he leaned forward menacingly.

“So why did we let the baddie go?”

“Because we're going to track him. He's bound to go to his boss,” he explained as he pulled out his tracking device. “That little white spider? I planted it on him and it'll tell us where he's going.”

Deadpool's eyes lit up before he lunged forward. He wrapped Spider-man in a tight hug and spun him around.

“You are so smart, baby boy!”

“Deadpool! Put me down!”

Deadpool dropped him but didn't move out of his space. Spider-man's hands were on his chest, ready to shove.

“Remember our rules?” Spider-man asked him. His eyes were glued to his hands. He felt Deadpool nod.

“Follow Spidey, no killing, no stealing, no unnecessary destruction.”

“Good,” Spider-man nodded. He took a step back. “So let's go find our baddie, shall we?”

Spider-man gave Deadpool another 'Spidey-Back Ride'. The merc was holding the tracker, serving as navigator as they swung through the city. Suddenly he felt his spider-sense go off. Wade loosened his grip on him for a moment.

“Your spider-sense still throws me off. I wish I could have it.”

Spider-man dropped on to a building. He opted to ignore Deadpool. He couldn't figure out where the danger was coming from. It wasn't a strong feeling but something was wrong. Something was posing a danger to them. Deadpool may be immortal, but Spider-man wasn't.

“Do you see anything?” he hissed at Wade. 

“No,” came the immediate response.

“Did you even look?”

“I'm always looking. There's nothing out here with us. Maybe your spider sense is malfunctioning tonight.”

“It doesn't malfunction. Something is wrong.”

There was a sudden roar. Red and gold shot out of the sky and stopped inches from the building rooftop. Bright lights suddenly hit them. Spider-man held up a hand so he could squint into the light.

“S.H.E.I.L.D,” Deadpool said. He stepped in between them and Spider-man. “What do you want Tin-Man?”

“Charming, as always, Wade,” Stark responded. His face becoming visible as the metal slide upward. “We want to know why you attacked a civilian tonight. He was found dead in the street.”

A figure dropped out of one of the carriers.

“And why Spider-man's blood was at the scene. Care to explain that?” Captain America asked as he straightened. 

“I suppose you expect us to come quietly?” Deadpool asked.

“Spider-man, yes. You I expect to have to take in piece by piece,” Tony stated. “That I'm looking forward to doing.”

“Hey!” Spider-man cut across the bickering. He tried to move around Deadpool but kept getting shuffled backward. “There's no reason for violence. We didn't do anything wrong!”

“Kid, I don't know why you're hanging out with him but he's a mercenary. Everything he does is wrong,” Iron Man snapped. He didn't wait for another response. A net shot out from his arm hoilster. Deadpool let out a shrill laugh and cut through it.

“Oh please, do better than that!” 

Deadpool's hand was clasped around Spider-man's tightly. Spider-man kept trying to tug it free but even with his super strength, Wade was stuck on him.

“Never let go, Jack!” He yelled as he pulled Spider-man over the edge of the building and tossed up two small black balls.

“Deadpool! What was-?”

BANG!

The top of the building exploded. Through the flames he could see Captain America leaping to another building and Iron Man being thrown. Wade swung them through an open window.

“I really thought you'd save us from splatting on the ground. I didn't think you'd get so caught up in what was going on with them. You do realize you can die, right?” Wade asked, leaning towards him with concern. “I mean, I enjoy keeping our bodies so close but I can't always shield you.”

“What are you talking about?” Spider-man asked. He was peering out the window. “We should leave – is that an arrow in your back?”

Deadpool spun in a few small circles before Spider-man was able to stop him and cut it off him.

“Great, I've got a tracker inside me now. Do they think I'm stupid?” Wade asked out loud.

}Probably.{  
[You wouldn't have even noticed if Spider-man hadn't pointed it out to you.]

“Point,” he sighed. “Spidey we're going to have to swing back to the warehouse to get my kit. You need to cut this out of me.”

“Fantastic,” Spider-man growled. “So avoid the Avengers and play operation. My night is getting better and better!”

“I know, it's exciting isn't it?” Deadpool asked as he dropped out the window.

“Wait!”

He ran to the window only to find Deadpool waving at him from the ground. One of his legs had a bone sticking out of it. 

“Hurry up, baby boy! We have to be faster than them or we lose!”


	3. Pictures, Pancakes, and Avengers - oh my.

Spider-man stood in the middle of the warehouse. The little tracker from the arrow in the palm of his hand. He was trying to hold off on crushing it. Sooner or later (preferably sooner) Iron Man and Captain America would show up. They needed to talk. He had given Wade instructions to hide in the warehouse. He hoped the merc wouldn't get bored and pop out anyway. He glanced nervously at the crate Wade was in. The top snapped down. Spider-man rolled his eyes.

Yeah, this was going to go exactly as planned.

His Spider-sense tickled. He glanced up a the windows but didn't see anything. They must be surveying the building. It's what he would do. This is Deadpool's territory. There's no telling what kind of bombs or traps-

He froze. He forgot to ask if Deadpool had any traps set. It was too late to ask now without tipping the other party off though. He could only hope that the duo was god enough to find any without triggering them. He heard the creak of wood scraping against wood. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. It was too much to ask Deadpool to stay quiet for more than 5 minutes. 

“Spidey...”

He ignored it.

“Spidey...”

He started tapping his foot, annoyed that Deadpool was trying to talk to him. They were here. If they heard him-

“I know he's ignoring us!” the merc snapped. The crate slide shut with a click. Peter let go of the breath he had been holding. At least Deadpool was arguing with his self. Perhaps now he'd be too occupied to ruin their plan. 

Something hit him in the back of the head. He looked down to see a wadded up ball of paper. What is he, 5? Spider-man thought with a snarl. He was tempted to web the crate closed. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind there was movement at the window. He waved up at Tony and Steve. The two exchanged looks before coming down. Stark exited his suit, leaving it on sentry mode. Spider-man shifted his weight. He could distract humans, but that suit may pose a problem if Deadpool kept with his antics.

“So where is he?” Tony demanded. Steve touched his shoulder but Tony just rolled it off. “Come on, Parker, this isn't like you.”

Spider-man's mouth hit the ground. Did he really just use his last name while he was suited up?! Even Steve looked affronted. 

“Tony, language!”

Stark only looked at him in confusion. He rolled his eyes. 

“I didn't say a bad word”, Tony used finger quotations. He turned back to Spider-man. “You need to stop protecting him when he's clearly trying to kill you-”

“I don't think Wade is trying to kill him,” Steve cut across him. “He's always looked up to Spider-man and deep down he wants to be a good person. He's just misguided.”

“I'm trying to help him,” Spider-man pointed out. “You're only interfering and he didn't kill that taco vendor.”

“Right. Because Deadpool is such a great guy, he wouldn't kill an innocent person,” Tony snarked back.

“No, because he was with me when the vendor was killed.”

“Doing what?” Tony demanded. He took a step forward, invading 

“None of your business!”

“It is my business! There's been a murder and you were shot!”

“Can we just calm down and talk about this?” Steve asked. He looked between them. No one was listening.

“I was the one shot, not you, so I don't see how that's-”

“INCOMING PROJECTILE!” the Iron Man suit informed them all as a tiny gun appeared on it's shoulder. It shot, the jet zipping right by Spider-man's face. Vaporizing an object that would have collided with his head.

Spider-man closed his eyes tightly. That did not just happen. What an idiot. He decided to go along with it, shooting a web out the empty window.

“There's something outside!” He yelled.

The two turned to look, Spider-man swung up to the window. He was hoping they'd follow. Captain America was surveying the room, not the windows. Stark had eyes only for Spider-man.

“Something just attacked you, Pa-”

“LANGUAGE!” Steve roared over the rest of the sentence.

“It's just the three of us, what does it matter?” Tony argued as he got back into his suit. Spider-man's gaze flickered to the crate only to have his heart sink. Deadpool was waving at him. Did he want to be caught? He thought furiously.

His spider-sense tingled, he turned to see what was wrong. Something really did hit him this time. A tiny prick in the back and suddenly his world went back.

 

[Damsel in distress!]  
{Spidey! Save him, Deadpool!}  
“I'm a-coming, Spidey!” he yelled as he exploded out of the crate. Steve flinched and raised his shield. Tony was already going for the flailing Spider-man, only to have Deadpool jump on to his head and over him. He toppled backwards from the force.

“What?” He asked stupidly.

Some black balls dropped from one of Deadpool's pockets. They hit the ground and exploded into smoke, engulfing the area. Spider-man dropped into his arms.

{And he catches the damsel!}  
[The crowds go wild.]  
“Up, up and away!”

He didn't wait for the two Avengers to get their wits about them. They were still lost in the smoke but Deadpool knew the warehouse. He held the Spider-man over his head and ran as fast as he could.

Steve and Tony made it to the window. They could hear the mercenary babbling as he ran around a corner. Spider-man held up like a grand prize. Steve sighed. Tony stomped his foot, crushing the stone beneath it.

“He's a terror.”

“People say that about Spider-man,” Steve pointed out.

“He's a menace!”

“Again, people say that about Spider-man.”  
“He tried to kill Spider-man!” Steve yelled.

“I don't think he did. From what we've been told, he saved Spider-man. He certainly saved him just now.”

“I would have caught him,” Tony replied mulishly.

“But you didn't. Come on. We need to report back and find out what the others know.”

Wade set Spider-man down next to the Bethesda Fountain. It was for purity and healing. He was sure his friend would need some of that. His healing not nearly as effective as Wade's. He put Spider-man's arms over his chest so they weren't dangling. He looked more comfortable.

[He is really precious.]  
{Let's keep him!}  
“Why hasn't he woken up?”

The boxes didn't have an answer to that. He tried again.

“How do we wake him up?”

{Disney Princess style.}  
[Be his Prince Charming!]  
“That guy was a creep.”

{Okay but if a kiss wakes him, you know what that means.}  
“No?”  
[Only true loves kiss wakes the princess!]  
{Do you not pay attention?}  
“So this could prove if Spidey is my true love?” he gasped. His fingers squeezed Spider-man's hand. “But we don't even know who he is!”

{Parker. We have a name.}  
[That's gotta be a last name, who'd name their kid Parker?]  
“Poor kid.”

He looked down at Spider-man. Uncertainty clawing at his insides. If he didn't do anything, they'd have to wait it out. If he acted, he might end up rejected. There couldn't be high odds that his kiss would wake Spider-man. He sighed. Why was being a prince so complicated?  
[Hero, dumbass.]  
“You're the one that started this Disney princess shit!” he snapped.

He pulled up Spider-man's mask so his mouth was showing.

{At least he doesn't drool.}  
[Unlike this one. He drools like a broken tap.]

Wade swatted away his boxes. He needed to focus.

“Spider-man?” he asked tentatively. There was no response. No stir, no flickering eye lids. His hand didn't even squeeze back a response. “Okay,” he huffed and released the air he was holding.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to Spidey's soft ones.

[SO soft.]  
{Lick them!}  
[That's going a bit far, don't you think?]  
{We only have this one chance!}

Wade pulled away.

“Spidey?”

He remained still. Although a bit of color had returned to his face. . He couldn't explain the disappointment. It wasn't like he actually thought a kiss would wake him, true love or not. He sat down on the ground, his back to Spider-man.

[Now what?]  
{We can't just hang out at Mid-Park.}

“Wade?”

He spun around. Spider-man was sitting up, his hand on his head.

“What happened?”

“It worked!” He yelled. He whooped. He scooped Spider-man up and gave him a bone crushing hug. His boxes were silent with shock. Even they didn't expect the kiss to work.  
“Did you save me? Again?” Spider-man asked a bit bemused.

“Yes!”

“You're getting the hang out of this hero thing.” He said. Wade put him down. “You didn't kill anyone did you?”  
“Nope.”

“No torture? Stealing? Unnecessary destruction?”

“No?”

“Wade.”

“I don't think I destroyed anything. I made an effort not to destroy.”

Spider-man sighed.

“Thank you for saving me again, Deadpool.”

His hand went to his lips and he looked at him, his head titled to the side.

“Why is my mask up?”

“They made me do it!”

Spider-man decided not to ask, opting instead to lower his mask.

“Someone shot me while I was distracting Stark and Rogers. Why wer-”

“Is your last name Parker?” Deadpool blurted. Spider-man froze.

“Why?”

“Stark called you Parker. So either it's a first name or a last name but it's your name.”

Spider-man didn't know how to respond. He could lie, but it would feel weak and feeble even to his own ears. 

“It's my name,” he decided on.

“First?”

“Does it matter?” He asked as he looked to the heaven's for help. Nothing. An hour ago he  argued with the Avengers. Someone had shot him. But now there was nothing. 

“I just wanted to know how terrible your parents were to you. They did name you Parker didn't they? Poor little Parker Spider-man.”

“Anyway, what happened to Stark and Rogers?”

Deadpool shrugged.

“I dunno. I saved you and kept running. They didn't follow.”

“So they're reporting back to SHEILD. Perfect,” he grumbled. His stomach growled. He wanted a shower and a soft bed. He was sore from all the fighting, the bullets, the tranquilizers, and the falling. Plus he had to get those pictures to JJ before his vein exploded and he lost his job.

“I think we need to split up. I'm due for a shower. Can we meet back here tomorrow?”

Deadpool seemed to droop but he nodded.

“Do you want some more tacos?” he asked, holding out the bag.

“You've had them this entire time?” Spider-man asked. He narrowed his eyes at him.  Deadpool nodded and pulled one out.

They were  squashed and soggy. But beggars couldn't be choosers and Spider-man was a beggar. He grabbed one out of the bag as well.

“You need to eat more,” Deadpool noted.

Spider-man snorted, bits of beef flying out of his mouth.

“If I had money for food I wouldn't be eating soggy tacos.”

“You go hungry?”

Spider-man shrugged. He didn't really want to get into it.

“Here!” Deadpool shoved the brown bag at him. “Have the rest. I can always get mo- well I can buy more tacos at any rate. You're so thin! I thought you'd fly away with the wind. No wonder you can swing through town on those webs. You barely weigh anything.”

“Deadpool-”

“No, seriously, I insist. Take the entire bag. Fatten up. Meet me here in the morning. I'll have breakfast. Unless you take me home with you.”

He leaned in really close.

“I'll make waffles.”

“No, but I will meet you here in the morning.”

He felt a tad guilty, leaving Deadpool alone when his home had been invaded by Avengers. He didn't think it was probable they were still there though. Instead of his shower, Peter went to his computer and plugged in his camera. He was eager to view the action shots of Deadpool and Spider-man. He wasn't sure how JJ was going to react to another masked vigilanty in NYC. He'd be lying if he said he didn't want it to upset the old man though.

He clicked open the first folder. A lot were hit and miss. But he came across one that caught his attention. When he had been shot, he didn't know that Deadpool had shielded his body from further bullets. But this clearly showed Deadpool taking two in the back. One entering and the other moments behind. Spider-man already falling back.

This would be the one he gave to Jameson. He moved it to a different folder. He was hoping this would give Deadpool the appreciation he deserved. It would make JJ happy at least. He would love seeing Spider-man get shot.

He created a separate folder titled Deadpool. Another picture caught them with the sky golden. It was of them swinging through New York City. Deadpool on his back. He hadn't noticed at the time but Deadpool's face nuzzled into Spider-man's neck. He put his hand over the spot. He could remember the warmth. Everything else had been chilly except where Deadpool had been touching him.

The action shot would be what Jameson got though. While Peter could appreciate them, he wouldn't. He opened the bag of tacos, there was still another 5 left. His appreciation for Deadpool only grew. At least the job hadn't been one sided.  
Deadpool stopped by a 24 hour store. First, he stopped in a dark alley to change out of his suit and into civilian clothes. He tightened the hoodie and entered. The clerk behind the counter was eyeing him but Wade was used to that. 

His looks always garnered attention and the hood always made people suspicious of his motives. He was more comfortable with suspicion though. He made a show of putting the flour and spices into his cart. He cleared the shelves of all the needed ingredients. He wasn't sure how much Spider-man would eat, but he wanted to have plenty for his baby boy. 

Back home, Wade put back on his Deadpool suit. If he was going to be up all night, he might as well be comfortable. The stretchy material was the most comfortable clothes he owned. Every part of him was covered. So even if the Avengers made a surprise visit, Deadpool was ready for them. 

“Now, time to get cooking!” He exclaimed as he pulled out the pans and utensils.   
{He's so frail, we should make him a lot of pancakes!}  
[I thought we were making waffles?]  
“They're, like, basically the same thing,” Wade said. He scratched his head with the spatula.  
{I don't think they are...}  
[They're not. There's so many differences! You can't use pancake batter to make waffles!]  
“I can and I will,” he snapped. He would show his brain what was basically the same or not. His boxes always thought they were so smart. “I'm the one in charge and I say they're the same thing!”  
[He's going to ruin breakfast.]  
{Suppose Spider-man will be so thankful for food he won't mind the abomination.}  
“Moi? I wouldn't create an abomination!” His voice raised in pitch and he splattered batter all down his front.  
{Have fun cleaning our suit, asshole.}  
[And don't cook naked this time, we have a healing factor but hot oil still hurts like a mofo.]

Spider-man could smell the pancakes before he saw them. He didn't think Deadpool was serious about making him breakfast. He swung over the last few trees and dropped. He realized a bit late that he was landing in a pile of pancakes. He was surrounded by mountains of pancakes. Even a few waffles cascaded down and on to his lap.

“Wade?” He called out uncertainly. Maybe this wasn't his work. Maybe there was some evil pancake monster that abducted him. “You weren't attacked by a pancake monster were you? That's kind of outside my experience. Usually I fight animal villains but I can make an exception-”

“Baby boy! Do you like your breakfast, mon cheri?”

Deadpool hopped over a pile and landed next to him. He was wearing his mask but also a purple and black dress. His black boots had a spiked heels. Even his toe nails were pained purple Spider-man touched the fabric only to find it sticky with syrup. He smirked.

“You out did yourself, thank you!”

{I knew it. He wouldn't care.}  
[They're perfect for each other. Wade can make all the ridiculous food he wants and Spider-man will eat it because he's desperate for a meal.]  
“We are perfect for each other!” Wade agreed loudly, nodding with his boxes. Spider-man just smiled, pulled up his mask and dug in.


	4. Twice the Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was really sick the last few days so I'm behind. This chapter is a bit short. I'm sorry. I'll try to make it up to everyone with the next chapter. Thank you so much for all the kind reviews and help! I really appreciate it and I'm glad everyone is enjoying the story.

Deadpool held the newspaper tightly in his hands. He couldn't believe that he made first page news. No one had ever bothered. There was a few things that stood out to him.

 

{We look amazing in that picture.}

“We do,” he agreed.

[The Daily Bugle really hates Spidey.]

{Which is very odd.}

“Yep,” he agreed again. He was cutting the picture out. “Very odd, considering Spidey clearly works for them.”

{Did he really think we wouldn't notice the name?}

[What do we do with this information?]

Deadpool tapped his chin for a moment.

“Nothing, we keep this to ourself until it comes in handy.”

 

He folded the picture and put it in his wallet. Regardless, it was a good photo. It captured him being a hero. He had saved someone. Someone he cared about. It filled him a warmth he hadn't felt in a while. To be appreciated for something he did.

 

{We're supposed to meet Peter in a few minutes.}

[Try to act normal.]

{Probably shouldn't call him Peter, even in our head.}

[Imagine his face if we called him Peter!]

“He'd be wearing a mask, we can't imagine it.”

 

Spider-man was waiting for him on the Flatiron building. The speck of bright blue and red visible even from the ground. Deadpool scowled.

 

{Does he expect us to climb up there?}

[We could teleport.]

“I want another Spider-Back ride,” he mumbled. He looked up the building. An idea came to mind and he grinned mischievously. He hadn't ever been inside the Flatiron building. It was supposed to be a real treat. There just happened to be a tour going inside. He skipped over, pulling his Spider-man hoodie over his suit. He looked up at the Lost Angels as they entered. He couldn't see Peter {SPIDER-MAN!} anymore.

 

"Hey can we speed this up? Where's the elevator?" Wade asked over the top of the man giving the tour. All the heads swiviled around to face him. He grinned. Then he heard the ding of an elevator. "Nevermind!"

 

He darted forward. "Hold the door please!" He tripped causing the red and gold rug to bunch up as he scrambled to get back up. A lady in a pink dress suit held the evevator f or him. She had a little grin that kept flickering. She seemed torn between fear and amusement.

 

"Thanks!" He said as he slammed into the corner and turned around. "I'm late to meet a friend."

 

"Not a problem... Are you okay? You hit your head..."

 

"Ah it's but a flesh would, m'lady, no worries."

 

He got to the top floor, hit all of the elevator buttons and ran to the end of the hallway. There had to be a door or stairway or something... He spotted a window.

{That'll do.}

He pushed the window open and stuck his head out. Even though he couldn't die he still had a moment of feeling off balanced. He was up really, really high. He shrugged though, pulled out his grappling hook and swung it up.

 

"Up, up, and away!" he shouted as he let go of the building.

{We've done that already.}

 

“Spidey,” He was looking at his phone as he pulled himself over the edge. “Would you shoot me in the leg for a million dollars?”

 

“It's not like it wouldn't heal,” Spiderman responded. He walked over to Deadpool to give him a hand up but Wade was already on his feet. He yanked his hoodie off over his head. A gun appeared and he was pressing it into Spiderman's chest.

 

“We can split it 50/50. Then you won't be starving anymore. It's win-win, baby!”

 

Spiderman looked at him helplessly for a moment. Then jumped as he realized the gun was still in his hands.

 

“Wade!” He pushed the gun at him. “I hate guns! I'm not shooting you and no one is going to give us money if I do. What are you reading anyway?”

 

He reached for the phone, but Deadpool danced out of his reach.

“Privacy please! It's a note. On tumblr. You've probably never heard of it.” He sniffed disdainfully while he held his phone against his chest as if Spiderman was just going to steal it.

 

Which he was, of course.

 

He shot out a web, catching the phone and yanking it to him. He jumped backward, planting his feet on a wall and scurried up it. Wade was threatening to shoot him down but he wasn't very

concerned. He clicked on the phone. It asked for a password. He glanced down at the mercenary and sighed.

 

He typed in SpideysAss.

 

“Really?” He shouted. “That's your password?”

Deadpool crossed his arms. “That was your first guess!”

 

Point. Peter went back to the screen. It wasn't a tumbler or whatever, Deadpool called it. It was a website with a list of hits. Wade Wilson was on it, for 1 million dollars.

 

“That's cheap considering it's you,” Spiderman said. He dropped to the ground and handed him the phone. Deadpool snatched it away.

 

“That's what I thought. I'm worth way more than that. Plus the poor guy that's going to try to capture me should get paid more. That's not going to be easy. I'll try to make it fun for him at least.”

 

“We'll have to worry about that later. We've got company. Steve and Tony wanted to meet up with us. I told them we would agree to do so only if they didn't try to capture us.”

 

Deadpool was backing away though.

“Spidey, I know you trust them, but I don't. I'll catch you later, baby boy!”

 

He took a dive off the building.

“Wade!” He was going to be too late, he got to the edge but Iron Man was shooting past him towards the falling Deadpool. Someone grabbed him by the back of his suit and pulled him around.

 

“Stark's got Wilson. It's time we have a little one on one.”

Spider-man gulped as he looked up at Captain America.

 

Iron Man saved Deadpool. The favor wasn't returned though. The merc planted his feet on the ground. He tightened his hold on the attachment and spun. The momentum was threatening to tip them both over.

 

“Around and around and around and around-” he was saying with each rotation. Only the attachment finally broke with a snap. Iron Man hit the brick wall hard. Sparks flew, bricks fell. He danced away.

 

“So did you see I was in the paper?” Deadpool asked. “Saving Spidey and everything! The Bugle called me a hero. Although they thought I had shot Spider-man so I'm not sure that counts. But did you pay attention to the picture?”

Iron Man got up and launched himself at Deadpool. Deadpool braced himself and grabbed Iron Man. He swung up and landed on his back. His hand at Iron Man's throat. The Avenger just laughed and spun. Deadpool ended up under him. The ground scraped him between rock and metal. Bits of skin tore away. There was a burning sensation.

 

Suddenly it stopped. Deadpool flopped to the ground.

 

“Ow,” he said feebly. He sat up after a moment. The cool air on his face informed him that bone was showing. It throbbed with a sharp stabbing pain. He managed a grin though. “So that picture. Guess who took it?'

 

He allowed Iron Man to process what he was saying. He shifted, raising his fist but didn't respond.

 

“Parker. Peter Parker. Which is weird. Isn't Parker what you called Spider-man? What kind of coincidence-”

 

Iron Man kicked on his boosters and shot forward. Wade was caught around the middle. He slammed his body into the building. Wade hit the ground. He coughed up blood and looked up at Iron Man.

 

“Did I touch a nerve? You've touched plenty of mine!”

 

The last thing he saw was Iron Man's foot coming down on his head.

 

“You killed him.”

 

“He was threatening-”

 

“I don't believe it,” Spider-man's voice cut across. “So he put 2 and 2 together. That doesn't mean he was threatening anyone. It just means you need to watch what you're saying when people are in their suits.”

 

“Spidey?” Wade said feebly. His vision swam as he tried to open his eyes

{Now reach out to him.}

[Play up the pathetic, we're good at that.]

 

“Wade?”

{That's not Spider-man.}

 

He rolled on to his side.

“If you're not Spidey, I don't want to talk to you.”

 

There was silence for a moment. Then a hand was on his shoulder and Wade opened his eyes. A brown hair, brown eyed beauty was looking at him. A soft, tender smile as his hand rubbed soothing circles on to Wade's throbbing skin.

 

“You okay?” he asked. His voice was quiet and soft. “We took off your mask. It's soaked in blood and brain. It's in the wash but I”ll make sure it gets back to you soon.”

 

“Can I wear your mask?”

 

Peter froze. His eyes flickered down to the mask in his hands.

 

“I don't see a reason why not,” he said. His voice held some apprehension over it. He passed the mask over to Wade who pulled it over his face.

 

“I could get used to this,” he said as he sat up. “Now you get my mask and pretend to be me.”

 

“Wade,” Stark was trying to talk to him again but Wade turned to Peter.

 

“Are you going to answer him?” he asked. Peter snorted.

 

“Well after he killed you er- well me, rather, I don't think I will. He owes Wade an apology.”

 

Stark snarled and stomped out of the room.

 

“I'll talk to him,” Steve said with a put upon sigh. The door swung shut behind them. Peter took a seat on Wade's bed.

“They've seen there's a price on you. There's a higher price for Spiderman and Deadpool. A two hero deal."

 

Peter was tugging at a strand of fabric that was fraying on the bed sheet. Wade covered his hand.

“I won't let anyone harm you, baby boy.”

 

Peter let out a little puff of air. His lips were trying to tug up into a smile but he was fighting it.

 

{I bet he's ticklish.}

[We're about to find out or get our teeth kicked in.]

Wade grabbed Peter around the middle and pulled him up on to his lap. Peter's eyes popped a bit in surprise but he laughed and put a hand on Wade's shoulder to balance himself.

 

“What are you-” He cut his question short as Wade began his attack. His fingers skating to Peter's arm pits. Unfortunately for Wade, it was a challenge to hold on to a squirming superhero. Peter shot up on to the ceiling almost immediately. He was breathing heavy and looking down at him. Wade grinned and pulled the mask up over his mouth.

 

“Are we going to kiss?”


	5. Life Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg so I found some really sad fanart and that inspired this.  
> I'm half sorry.  
> Also I have no idea why Tony is being such a jerk. Maybe he ate jerk-flakes for breakfast this week. idek. Bad Tony! Play nice!

Peter left Stark Towers in a rage. Wade was missing. He was supposed to meet everyone at Stark Towers. Deadpool hadn't shown. No one else seemed surprised. They even seemed relieved. Peter was worried though. He had a bounty on his head. It was a poor idea for either of them to travel alone. Besides, Wade had told him he would be there. Wade was many things but he never lied to Peter. He worried his lip between his teeth as he swung through town. The street lights blinding him every few moments. 

“I might as well be playing Find Waldo,” Spiderman snapped at himself. He landed on a street lamp. He took in his surroundings. It was a cold night. People were a bit more bundled up than they would have been last week. He brought his hands up and breathed into them. His suit didn't offer much protection from the elements. It was a huge failing. Something he kept promising he'd fix before each winter but never did. Long underwear seemed to work well enough, even if it was difficult to put on. 

Sirens screamed through the air interrupting his thoughts. Spiderman perked up and looked around. He doubted it would be a lead on Wade but his city still needed him. A cop car was turning the corner, red and blue lights flashing. Spiderman jumped on to the top of the car with a little thump. He hoped this cop was a Spiderman fan. They were used to him hitching rides. He didn't need an incident like that time the cop pulled over and drew a gun on him. He was a JJ follower. 

The sirens went silent after a moment. The crime was over, this was an investigation then, he thought. Some worry bubbled into his stomach. There wasn't much he could do for anyone if the crime wasn't in progress. He could see an ambulance as they pulled up to a Doughnut Planet. He shot a web and swung to the bank next door. He landed on the wall and crawled around a corner. There was a few cops speaking in hushed voices. They were crowed by the entrance. One of them shifted and Spiderman noticed a black boot peeking out. He kept crawling and more of the body came into view.

Wade was sitting with his back to the wall. His feet stretched out straight in front of him. In his right hand a pistol. Spiderman took a shaky breath and dropped down. The wall was colored with Wade's blood and brain matter. He pinched his nose. This was clearly Wade's doing. No one else would bother to kill him and just leave him like this. What would be the point? 

Someone grabbed his shoulder.

“Suicide,” he recognized the voice as one of the cups. Spiderman nodded in response. 

“He's a friend of mine. Do you mind giving me a few minutes?” 

The hand left his shoulder.

“You saved my son a few years ago. Some lunatic tossed him from a car over the Brooklyn Bridge. I'll distract the others for as long as I can.”

“Thanks,” he said. He remembered that. It was Wade who had thrown the child from the car. He claimed he knew Spiderman would be there. Apparently the job he took was to distract Spiderman and keep him busy. Which meant giving Spiderman a heart attack and flirting with him for a few hours. He walked over, watching Wade curiously as he squatted between his legs. There was no signs that he was regenerating. But that's what he was always led to believe. That Wade Wilson, Deadpool, couldn't die. He snorted. Hard to believe when the guy was clearly dead right in front of you. 

“Come back to me, Wade,” he said softly. He itched to reach out and touch him. How long had he even been here? It couldn't have been very long. This was a popular store and they were right out front. He could get Wade out, but it would be difficult on his own. He pressed the distress button on his left sleeve. 

“Parker?” Tony's voice barked from the other end. Spiderman rolled his eyes. What an over privileged, arrogant, attention seeking-

“And you say Deadpool's a danger. Can you start calling me Spiderman? What's the point of a secret identity if you keep blowing it?” he snapped. 

“What do you want? This is a distress line,” Tony-constantly dismissive- Stark replied. Spiderman closed his eyes and asked for patience before he spoke again. 

“I found Deadpool. He's dead. The cops are here. My reputation bought us some time but we should extract him. I don't know what he'd do if he woke up in a morgue.”

There was silence. He sighed and tapped his fingers impatiently. He leaned closer to Wade. It seemed like the hole in his head had healed. Although it was hard to tell with all the blood-

“Send your coordinates, we'll send a team.”

“Stark, we're outside the Doughnut Plant on Grand Street,” he growled. “Just be here, all right?”

He shut off the connection and grabbed Wade's hand. Was it warm? He wasn't sure if he was just imagining it. His anxiety had the better of him now. It was a time game. When would Wade regain consciousness, when would the extraction team arrive, and when would the cops decide enough was enough before trying to remove the body? He glanced at them and his heart jumped into his throat. A news van was pulling up.

“Oh no, no, no!” he yelped. He looked around for something to give them privacy but couldn't find anything appropriate. A camera was pulled out of the van. Spiderman panicked and immediately shot a web over the lense. Then he sealed the doors shut with his webs. Everyone was looking at them now. 

“Hey!” One of the officers yelled. They all turned to him. “You can't do that! We can keep them away from the scene but you can't attack them!”

“Spiderman's attacking reporters now!” The cameraman yelled. He groaned. How as it he made first page news so often and so easily? JJ was going to be all over this! His only hope was that no one was able to get any video or pictures. He needed to contain this mess before it spilled into the media. 

“Come on guys, I'm trying to protect the privacy of a dear friend, you understand that?” He held out his hands innocently. The cop that had promised to buy him time frowned at him. Apparently saving his son hadn't been impressive enough. How quickly Spiderman forgot how he was expected to be perfect to live up to anyone's standards. His luck seemed to be turning as bright lights suddenly hit the area. The extraction team was arriving. Captain America dropped from the sky.He didn't spare Spiderman a glance but went straight to the police. 

Spiderman looked up, the light was blinding. He could make out a few dark figures coming down from a helicopter. He instinctively moved closer to Wade, even though he was certain it was SHIELD. A few figures were prepping a stretcher. So Spiderman took his place to help move Wade to it. He was surprised at how gentle they were being, even knowing Wade would recover from any rough handling. Perhaps they didn't know about his abilities or that he was currently dead. 

Once inside, Spiderman had a finger jabbing him sharply in the chest. He raised an eyebrow at Iron Man. The helicopter was crowded enough and he was in his full suit. Spiderman managed to not roll his eyes at him at least. 

“No arguments. We're taking you to Stark Tower. Wilson will be disarmed. Then you will be debriefed. We've obtained new information.”

“What in-”

“Not now, Parker!” Iron Man snapped at him. He balled up his fists and looked away. He could focus and play nice for Wade's sake. He just hoped he hadn't landed him in more trouble. Maybe they would have been better off dealing with civilians at the morgue than the Avengers at Stark Tower. The ride was over fairly quickly They stripped him of his weapons while Peter looked on with annoyance. He couldn't argue against it. They needed the protection of the Avengers. Wade being disarmed was a small price to pay for that. Dr Banner was called down to check on Wade's condition. He took his vitals and offered the room a small shrug and smile. 

“Wade's regenerating as expected. All he needs is rest and time.”

“Self inflicted?” Tony barked. 

“Clearly,” Peter answered. He pulled a chair up to his bed and settled down. The urge to grab Wade's hand was overwhelming. His hands didn't know where to settle. Finally he sighed and decided to hold his hand. He really didn't care what the others thought. He really did not feel Tony glaring holes into the side of his head. His friend was injured and he was going to be there for him. That's all. Tony and Banner left the room. Peter pinched the bridge of his nose. Just what he wanted, a lecture from Steve Rogers. 

He heard a chair scrape. Steve took a seat next to him.

“Do you know the extent of Wade's issues?” he asked. 

Peter shrugged but declined to answer. It didn't feel right talking about Wade when he wasn't concious to defend himself. Steve continued anyway.

“I've know Wade for a long time. We were both government experiments. Although, he did get the worse end of the deal.”

“You think?” Peter spat out. He wasn't sure where Rogers was going with this but-

“If you're serious about partnering with him, yu need to understand him. This,” Steve said as he gestured to Wade's body. “This is a common occurance. He does it when he's bored, he does it when he's depressed. Usually it's not in such a public area. Which leads me to think he wanted you to find him. He's already becoming dependant on you. Do you realize what a task that will be?”

“He's my friend,” he said. “If he needs me, I'll be there. I can't ignore him.”

“You can't feel obligated to help him.”

“What's that supposed to me?” Peter was standing now. He wasn't sure when that happened. Steve stood as well.

“It means you need to take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. That goes for the public and Wade Wilson.”

Peter's eye was twitching. He balled his hands into fists and glanced at Wade, alive now but asleep. 

“Call me when he wakes up.”

He spun on his heel. He managed to close the door with a little clink instead of slamming it. His concern for Wade's rest overriding his anger at Steve. He was going to go home, check on Aunt May and get something to eat. His goal to avoid the Avengers as much as possible. Of course, Iron Man was a bit of an inconsiderate jerk. That was who greeted him on the elevator. 

“Spiderman, I'm glad I caught you.”

Peter narrowed his eyes.

Yup, he hated this guy. 

“Look,” Tony started out. He stepped out of the elevator. One hand on Peter's shoulder, steering him back down the hallway. “I know you're upset. But there's parts of this situation you don't understand. We warned you.”

Tony held out a plastic clipboard. Peter starred at it for a moment. Instead of taking it he crossed his arms and met Tony's eyes.

“What is it?”

Tony shoved the clipboard into Peter's chest and resumed walking.

“Jarvius traced the money. It seems your friend is the one that put a dollar sign over your head.”

Peter snorted.

“That doesn't make sense, whoever put the hit out on me put a hit out on him as well. Besides, who shot the vendor?”

“I was wondering about that myself. We went back to the warehouse and found a bullet with your blood on it. It had the initials AK imprinted on it.”

AK didn't mean anything to Spiderman but it did worry him a tad that Wade hadn't shared that information with him. He rolled his shoulders. Apparently they were going back to Wade's room. The little white door was being held open by Steve. He offered Peter a warm smile that he didn't return. 

“Traitor,” he grumbled as Steve mumbled “Sorry.”  
Peter entered the room first. He went straight to Wade's bed. His hand touched Wade's briefly before skating over his wound. He finally let out a breath of air and turned to Tony.

“This just means he's being framed. You're so intent on blaming him you're not seeing things clearly. Wade's always been upfront if he was trying to distract us or being paid to do a job. This isn't him.”

“Well congratulations, Parker. You can sit in this room with him and question him when he wakes up.”

The door sealed. It didn't just shut with a click. There was a grinding of locks. Tony peeked through the little window and waved at him.

“Parker? We gotta stop meeting like this. Do you wanna kiss my owwie better?” 

Peter spun around.

“Wade!”

“Yeah, yeah he missed us. It's clear by the loo- Hey no, shut up. I told you-”

Peter jumped on to the bed, pulling Wade into a hug.

“You idiot!”

[He's hugging us.]  
{He's squeezing us. We're going to break a rib}  
[Hug him back you idiot!]

Wade tentatively wrapped his arms around Peter.

“I didn't mean to scare ya, baby boy. I just needed a break.”

“Don't do it again,” Peter mumbled into his shoulder. 

“I can't promise that.”

Peter pulled away and hastily swatted at his face.

{He's crying!}  
“No he's not.”  
[He is clearly crying. You broke Spiderman.]  
“I didn't break Spiderman!”

“I'm fine,” Peter interrupted. He dropped the clipboard on to his lap. “But we've got a lot to discuss before the Avengers let us out of here.”

Wade picked up the clipboard and rolled his eyes.  
{Someone's trying to frame us!}  
[Adorable!]


	6. Hindsight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omg. I swear... I have no idea why Tony turned out this way. He's not a baddie. Just a total jerk face. Wow. Wow. 
> 
> Also Spideypool fandom is my favorite one to write for. You all are so supportive! So many reviews and kudos and views. It's really encouraging and thank you so much to Buzzle Bee!. Who has been helping me improve the chapters. I really appreciate constructive criticism. If I'm not informed, I can't improve. 
> 
> Smut coming soonish. Uh probably going to be a bit of BDSM going on. I'll put a warning on the chapter so you know. 
> 
> I watched the entire first season of Spiderman (1993) while I wrote this. SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN RADIOACTIVE SPIDERMAN. Does anyone else just love that intro music? Fantastic stuff. Also, Spiderman is some hot stuff. That voice of his makes me melt.

Wade pulled put a rocket launcher and pointed it at the door. At least, Peter thought it was a rocket launcher. It was large, gray and – wait, did he pulled it out his pocket? How was that even possible?! Never mind, he put himself between Wade and the door, his arms stretched out. Hopefully The merc wouldn't pull the trigger.  
“Put that down! Where did you get it anyway?”

“I never run out of weapons unless the story line requires it,” Wade answered.

“What? That doesn't even make sense. They took everything, I watched them strip you of your weapons.”

“Did you like what you saw, baby boy?” Deadpool wiggled his eyebrows at him, leaning a bit closer.

“Knock it off and put it away,” Peter said. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back.

“I can bust us out of here!” Wade yelled with a grin. He waved the launcher around and gestured for him to move.

“I could have bust us out of here ages ago!” Peter said. “But I haven't because there's no reason. We have everything we need. Once we're done...then we can bust out.”

“With the rocket launcher?”

“No, that'll kill us. Unlike you, I won't come back.”

Deadpool lowered the weapon with a sigh. He ran his hand over the top of his mask.

“Can we focus?” Peter asked. He was holding the clipboard up. “You said someone was trying to frame you.”

Wade flopped back on to the bed, the rocket launcher gone and forgotten. Peter glanced around the room. He wanted to know where it went but he was too scared to ask.

“Someone's trying to frame me and lead me to believe it's Allison Kemp.”

“Allison?”

“Former FBI. She credits me with the downfall of her career.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “What'd you do?”

“My job. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Wade.”

“I made the building to explode. She was inside. So was my target and a few others.”

“Jesus, Wade!”

Peter's stomach twisted. He wanted to ask how many people he killed that day. Wade seemed to know what he was thinking. His hands tightened into fists at his side and he was grinding his teeth. Peter opened his mouth, preparing to apologize.

"I can't change what I've done,” Wade blurted out.  
{He can't handle you being a murder.}  
[Is that really a surprise? It's more surprising it took this long.]

“I know you can't,” Peter said quietly. He did know. He understood not being able to take back a death. But somehow he didn't think Wade felt bad about taking life. He simply didn't want Spiderman to hate him. It was something he was trying to teach Wade the difference between.

The door opened. They both turned to it and stood up to see Steve holding Peter's bag. He held it out into the room, the door still mostly closed in front of him.

“You can't leave but I thought you'd want to do research,” Steve said. “I'm sorry, Peter. But we have to sort this out.”

“And everyone thinks it's wise to leave me trapped in the same room with the person they think wants me dead?”

Steve shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“We don't know what to think, but we can't let Deadpool out until we figure out who is behind this. You're welcome to leave of course.”

Peter snorted.

“If we wanted to leave, we'd be out of here.”

[Show him the rocket launcher!]  
“Yeah!” Wade agreed enthusiastically. He pulled out the rocket launcher again. Peter took a step back.

“Are you insane?” Steve yelled. He pushed the door open and stepped fully into the room.

“You have to ask?” Peter and Wade asked at the same time.

“Jinx!”  
“Double Jinx!'

“Padlock's Jinx!” Wade yelled. Peter blinked at him. Apparently he had never gone any farther in the game before.  
{Can we marry him yet?}  
[It's finally legal.]

“Padlock's Jinx?” Pete asked. 

“You lose!” He sang. “Go buy me a pepsi.”  
“I thought it was meant to be a coke,” Peter countered. He was grinning at him. Wade felt giddy. He loved bantering with Spidey. He rolled his eyes at the coke comment though.

“Cokes are disgusting. Why would you even suggest such a thing?”

“Fellas?” Steve called out. They had forgotten he was there. Peter blushed as they turned back to him.

{Aww, it really stands out on that pale skin.}  
[I wonder if light reflects off of it?]  
“We should find out.”

The two superheros ignored him.

“Thanks for my bag, Cap. Could you bring us some drinks?” Peter asked as he took the bag from him.

“And food?” Wade jumped in.

Steve brought up food. Steve brought up a lot of food. Steve understood growing super heroes and mercs needed a lot of food. 256 hot dogs worth of food. They had counted as they ate. Peter groaned with his hands covering his belly, trying to remember the last time he'd been this full.

“We're going to have hot dog babies,” Wade blurted out.

“Twins?” Peter offered. “But what will we name them?”

“Frank and and Burst.”

“Only one of those is a real name,” Peter pointed out. He burped.

Wade burped louder.

“You're attractive when you're full,” Wade purred. Peter rolled his eyes.

“You always think I'm attractive.”

“So you do notice!”

Peter blushed again.

“You're cute when you blush too, Petey Pie.”

“Okay, enough pet names!”

Peter rolled over and pulled his laptop out of his bag. His fingers tightened around the case for a moment as he realized he would be handing Wade his life. Trust had to start somewhere though. At least he'd be right next to Wade as he used it, so it's not like he could get into anything personal without Peter noticing. Feeling a bit calmer, he sat up on the bed and curled his legs under him.

“So what are you going to do?” Peter asked as he passed the device over. Wade's fingers began skated over the keyboard. If Peter's computer was faster then maybe it would have had a chance to keep up with the commands, instead it froze. Wade made a face behind his mask.

“Uh no offense but this thing sucks. Can we get anything faster?”

“It's my personal laptop, so no, we can't,” Peter responded crossly. It was the best he could afford and it was still 7 years old. Deadpool tutted.

“You're giving me access to your personal computer. Pete, I didn't know you wanted to move our relationship so quickly!”

Peter grabbed the computer and shoved him off the bed. Wade popped back up grinning.

“So you're kind of bossy in bed, huh?” Wade inquired.

Peter scowled. His skin turned that lovely shade of red again. It only added fuel to Wade's desire tease him. He took the laptop back and started shooting him shifty looks. Peter tried looking at the screen but Wade squirmed away. Peter frowned.

“Are you going through my files?”

“No! Not even a little bit,” he said. “Here look this is the list of hits you can -oh hey. Funny that, Stark is on here now.”

Peter yanked the laptop out of his hands.

“Did you just add Tony?” Peter asked. His voice had gone up embarrassingly high.

“Would I do something like that?” he asked, big puppy eyes batting at him. Peter groaned.

“Yes, you totally would do something like that. It's hindering the investigation.”

Wade threw out his arms. 

“Yeah well, Stark shouldn't start shifting blame without looking at things properly. He shouldn't be so free with your identity either. If you ask me, this is long overdue.”

“I didn't ask,” Peter said. He pushed the laptop at him. “Take it down.”

Wade crossed his arms.  
[He doesn't like killing remember?]  
{He won't thank you if you get Stark killed.}  
“Fine!”

He snatched up the laptop. Peter leaned back against the headboard. He felt a tad guilty,  using Wade's crush on him to get his way. On the other hand, he couldn't help being curious about how far Wade would go for him. He seemed to have an odd amount control over the merc, considering how impossible and unpredictable everyone else found him.

“There. It's been removed. What's more is I traced the user. See this is why you learn proper internet anonymity. We don't have an exact address, but we've got a small area.”  
He spun the laptop around. 

“We've got a common enemy,” he sang.

Peter pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned closer.

OsCorp.

“What did you do to Osborn?” Peter asked.

“I didn't do anything. He stole from me. He took my victory, my money, and he framed me. I tried to be nice, I tried to just let him pay me off. I consider myself a fair man. But he refused to find any middle ground. So he owed me.”

“So we have motive.”  
,  
“Is it time to leave yet?” Deadpool whined. Peter blinked. When did he get his suit on? He raised an eyebrow.

“I have to ask, how do you keep doing that? Where did you put the rocket launcher?”

“Trade secret, mi amigo.”

He rolled his eyes again. He had a feeling he'd be doing that a lot from now on. He pulled his suit out of his bag and froze. He'd have to change in front of Deadpool. He glanced behind him only to see the back of a merc. 

“Why'd you turn away?”

Deadpool shrugged his shoulders.

“We have a job to do and you didn't give me permission to look. I'm a pushy romantic, not a total creep.”

Peter didn't know what to say to that. So he nodded, forgetting Wade wasn't looking and stripped. He kept his eyes on Wade's back. He wasn't quite able to believe the same pushy person he was used to didn't make him undressing in the same room an issue. So there was more to Deadpool than mayhem and sex.

“Come on,” Spiderman called to him. He walked over to the door and pulled it off it's hinges. He threw it the side.

“I get all tingly when you take control like this, Spidey,” Deadpool quipped. 

Deadpool secured his rope before swinging over the edge.

“See you at the bottom?” 

“See you at OsCorp,” Spiderman corrected him. “And don't kill anyone!”

Spiderman felt relief flood his veins as soon as he hit the air. He couldn't stand to be cooped up in a small room for very long. But he was worried. Osborn was usually more careful. They could be swinging into a trap. He thought about informing the Avengers, it shouldn't hurt to have back up. Tony was a problem though. He couldn't trust him to stay focused on the mission and not Deadpool. His spider sense tingled and he twisted around. 

“Speak of the devil,” he muttered. Iron Man was catching up to him. Of course they triggered the alarms when they broke out. It really wasn't much of a surprise. He didn't slow down for the lecture though. If Stark wanted to tell him off, he'd have to work for it. 

“Parker! You shouldn't be alone with him! Did you see he had a hit on me?” Iron Man yelled as soon as he got close enough.

“It was only for a moment and I think it was his idea of a joke. He didn't mean it,” Spiderman yelled back at him. He couldn't believe Stark most of the time. He was seriously following him to yell at him. He was being yelled at by Iron Man while swinging through New York. He snorted. Unbelievable.

“A joke?” Tony roared. “I could have been killed!”

“Unlikely!” Spiderman yelled. “It's not as though no one knows who you are. You, unlike me, don't have loved ones to protect and that having your identity revealed would put-”

Wade watched in slow motion as the bullet hit Spiderman in the back and came out his chest. Blood sprayed through the air. It splattered all over Iron Man. Spiderman still brought his arm up, as though to send out a web, but nothing happened. He just dropped. Wade ran forward, jumped on to a car, and off the side of a building. He caught Spiderman but slammed into the building next door. He fell hard, Spiderman on top of him.

More bullets hit the ground around them. Deadpool rolled to shield Spiderman's body with his own. He was hit a few times in the back. He coughed up blood and looked up.

{Move! If you take a bullet to the head you'll be gone!}  
[We need a plan!]

The gun fire didn't stop but it seemed to have shifted. He raised his head. The shooters were focused on someone in the sky. Deadpool pulled out his teleporter and his handgun.  
{Don't kill them!}  
“Fuck that!” He snapped. He came out behind the shooter and dropped him. He walked to the edge of the building to locate the others and noticed movement on the ground. Figures were moving in on Spiderman. He traded his handgun for his semi-automatic and jumped over the edge.

Bullets rained into the area. Dirt obscured the ground. By the time his boots hit the ground, no one was standing.  
{Where is he?}  
[We shot him!]  
“We didn't fucking shoot him!” Deadpool yelled. He spun around, desperately searching the ground for red and blue. Iron Man landed next to him. Deadpool's katana zinged through the air. It stopped just before Iron Man's throat. “This is...This is your fault.”

He took a couple steps, sheathing his katana.

“WHERE IS HE?” he yelled. He knew more Avengers were arriving. Someone had to see him, he couldn't just disappear. He would have seen if someone was leaving with him. He had to be here.

{Let someone else help.}  
“No!'  
[We shouldn't be here!]  
“Shut up!' His eyes searched the immediate area. Finally, some of the dirt cleared and he spotted a red gloved hand. “Spidey!”

He ran forward, fell to his knees and pulled Peter into his arms. His right hand fluttered over Peter's body. There was a lot of blood. His suit was soaked with it.”Spidey?” He choked out. He heard someone approach and swung his katana up. It sung as it hit Captain America's shield.

“Wade. He doesn't heal like you. I'll take him so he can get help,” Steve assured him. He had one hand squeezing his shoulder.

Wade stood, cradling Peter in his arms. He was so light. He was so pale. He had a pulse but it was faint. He didn't have that high tempo beat that was normal for Spidey. Shaking, Wade handed him over to Steve. Steve noded curtly and ran for help. Wade was left feeling helpless. He couldn't move. Flashes from when his daughter died plagued him. What if he lost Spiderman, just like he lost Elanor and her mother? What if it was his fault. If he had just left Peter alone he wouldn't have been distracted. Wade looked up. Red and gold assaulted his eyes and he remembered why Spidey was in this condition: Stark.

“You wouldn't let up!” He yelled as he got to his feet. His hand plunged into his satchel. “This time I won't be the one dying.”


	7. Wiped the Spiderman Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Buzzle Bee for editing the chapter! Sorry it took so long. I had some major writer's block going on. Hopefully that's the end of that. 
> 
> :)

Peter started to open his mouth, but something was wrong. His vision was fading to white. He tried to move his arm but it felt heavy. Panic filled his veins as he realized his spider sense was going off. Peter jerked to the right. His entire body crashed into metal and something fell hard to the ground. His eyes peeled open. They were so dry and everything was bright white. Which made everything so much worse. His spider sense was only starting to stop flaring but his head continued pounding. His throat burned and he choked as he tried to swallow. Someone caught him though and he was being pushed back.

 

“Easy!”

 

His vision swam into focus. Blinking, Peter was able to make out eyes the color of pine tree bark. The doctor's skin was a rich, golden sepia, her face was pinched with anxiety but she smiled for him anyway. He realized he recognized her.

 

“I treated Wade Wilson when he was here,” she supplied. “You've been shot, Parker. The bullet entered your left lung, and pierced your lobar bronchi. The good news is, you are healing.”

“The bad news?”

“You're going to be here for a few days.”

“Days?” He rasped. “No, I need to go now.”

She had a hand on his shoulder, firmly pressing him down before he could gain momentum.

“Well you're not going anywhere. I don't have super strength and I can keep you here. Do you see the problem?”

 

He scowled at her back as she exited the room. Rude. So rude. He pushed his hands into the bed and sat up. He needed his web shooters, everything would be easier once he had them. The room was all steel and white, there was a sink across from his bed. The steel counter ended at the door and it swung open. The doctor who failed to introduce herself was back with a glass of water.

 

“Where are my web shooters?” he demanded. Her eyes rolled.

 

“They're put away. You'll get them back eventually. For now, drink this.”

 

His body curled on itself as a sharp stabbing pain assaulted his sides. He crushed the glass in his hand, hardly registering the glass shards slicing into his hand. He recognized this pain. He rolled to his right, knocking instruments over as he struggled to his feet and pulled the medical equipment off of him. The doctor was coming around his bed.

 

“No!” He yelled. He held up his hand. It had already mutated. Grey fur and weird claws. His stomach lurched. “GO!”

 

Her brown eyes were wide. She was frozen in place, one hand up over her mouth. The other was held out in front of her, as if she was torn between reaching out for him or keeping him back.

 

“GO!” He yelled again. He slammed into the window. It cracked. He was going to get out. He couldn't stay here. He took a few steps away and ran his shoulder into it again. This time it gave and he tumbled out of it. He could hear her screams as he fell.

 

\---

 

Wade noted the trees scattered along the street. Iron Man wouldn't be able to take to the sky easily but he did have cars to use as shields.

 

{That'll have to change.}

[He can't have any where to hide.]

 

He pulled out his .45, more for show than anything. Predictably, Stark blocked it as Wade rushed him. He ran up the brick wall next to Iron Man and kicked off of it, his right boot connecting with Stark's head. He heard a ding as metal clipped metal. He was thrown back from the impact, twisting to land on his feet. Steel toed boots hardly touched the ground before he sprung forward. His sword zinged through the air as it was unsheathed.

 

Iron Man met the oncoming blade with his hand, a blast warming the air. It hit him with enough force to knock the breath out of his lungs, destroying the chest of his suit and melting away layers of skin. The odd thing about burning was that as long as it was severe enough, you didn't feel it.

 

{All the nerve endings are destroyed.}  
[So you know you're fucked when you can't feel the burn.]

 

The force itself threw him backward. He hit the ground and bounced twice before smacking into a wall, the abrupt stop causing his head to crack as it smashed into it.

 

“Didn't feel a thing,” Wade coughed. His boxes weren't impressed.

[Do we have a plan?]

{We have revenge-}

“Spidey wouldn't want us to get revenge,” he blurted out. His heart was beating hard in his throat. He was going about this wrong. “Spidey wouldn't want us to hurt Stark.”

{If he's de-}

[No!]

{But if he is-}

“He's not!”

 

His hand tightened around the handle of his katana. He loosened his grip as he released a puff of air.

 

“We'll catch him instead,” he decided.

{And if Peter dies?}

“Then Stark dies.”

 

“The most important thing is to get Stark out of his costume. The suit needs to be deactivated, torn apart, and disposed of far, far away from him.”

[We need to hit him hard enough that the suit reboots.]

{What a terribly easy flaw to exploit.}

 

He ran to the nearest tree, jumped and swung up by the branch. He took a few to the face as he swung upward. He needed to get to the roof. As expected, Stark followed, even blasting some of the branches out the way. Deadpool got to the top first and peered over the edge at him.

 

“Hey Stark- catch!”

 

He swung a bomb at him. Tony blasted it away, but the smoke and debris from the explosion blocked his view. Wade dropped an anvil on him.

 

{Where did we get an anvil?}

[Don't question greatness!]

 

“Now this is only fair,” Deadpool pointed out. “You remain in this shipping crate until we know if Spiderman survives. There's a bucket to tinkle. I'll bring food and water daily, I'll need to check up on you. And Stark, if he dies,” he growled the last part, “I will drop you in the Antarctic.”

 

[Oh I like it.]

{Very Batman!}

“Who?”

[Wrong franchise.]

 

His boxes nagged at him on the way to Stark Tower.

{What if he's dead?}

[What if they won't let us see him?]

“It's not an option,” he growls.

 

{What if he's alive and hates us because we attacked Stark?}

[At least he's alive.]

 

He covered his ears as he walked. He could at least pretend not to hear them.

{How rude!}

[We have feelings you know.]

 

What he really needed was a way to shut them up but still be able to walk. He pulled out a dagger. He had designed it himself. A black and red blade and handle, but with a Deadpool emblem on it. Red bled from the center of the blade downward. 

 

{We helped design that!}

[Don't you-]

 

He shoved the blade into his skull and immediately stumbled into a tree.

 

…..

 

He could do this. He pushed away from the tree and stumbled into a building. He slid down the glass window. Okay. He didn't need those two boxes to walk. He could at least stand. Right?

 

…

…

 

“Rwright.” he slurred. Apparently speech was effected.

 

He struggled up right and looked down at his boots. One step. He dragged his right foot forward and slumped. He breathed deeply through his nose. Another.

{Anotfor!]

“Ah shitk, you're bawck,” he grumbled.

[narrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.]

{Sftill unda construcshon, fwriend.}

 

That wasn't nearly worth it. He must have done something wrong, last time they were gone for quiet a bit longer. He'd had a chance to feel hopeful they wouldn't return. But like his healing factor, he couldn't seem to shake them either.

 

It did give him some quiet before they were across the street from Stark Tower. With that big ass, obnoxious, fucking light-

{You like it.}

[Why the fuck you lying.]

“I do like it, but I'll blow that fucker up if they don't let us in.”

[Stark's not there to tell us no.]

“Oh yeah!”

 

He felt a bit lighter as he crossed the street. They'd want to know where Tony was and he wanted to see Peter. Fair trade and all, he's a fair man. He didn't get past the ridiculous statue leading up to the building before Captain America dropped from the sky.

 

His hand went to his katana.

 

“Wade, before you get up there I want to tell you how he's doing.”

 

His stomach dropped.

 

[So alive, but in rough shape.]

{So we give them Stark back in rough shape.}

“Shut up,” he pleaded quietly.

 

“He was in bad shape when we got here. The bullet pierced his left lung. He's breathing on his own now though and he's expected to recover. Most people take a week or more before being able to leave the hospital. Parker heals faster than most but he still shouldn't leave. You've got to help keep him here, Wade. You can't go confront Osborn because he will follow.”

 

“Osborn is the one who attacked us, I guarant-”

 

“The Avenger's will handle it,” Cap cut across. “You're needed here.”

His heart actually hurt. He wanted to shoot something. Instead he ground his teeth together and pushed past Cap.

 

“Wade, I need Tony back. Where'd you put him?”

 

Before he could answer there was a loud crash and screaming from above. They both looked up. A gigantic, hairy creature was tumbling out of one of the tower windows. Deadpool was content with watching but suddenly it brought one of it's hairy arms up and shot out a web.

 

“Peter?” He asked. His heart beating hard in his chest.

{That's his suit!}

 

“It's Man Spider,” Steve growled. “He's mutated again.”

 

“This has happened before?” Deadpool demanded. He couldn't believe it. Spiderman, a real monster. Peter was perfect otherwise. High moral standards, a quick tongue, gorgeous brown eyes-

{Perfect ass.}

[I second the ass.]

 

“He's mutated a few times before. But for him to be this far into the mutation, it had to of been escalated by something.”

 

Deadpool stopped listening. Spiderman-

{ManSpider}

[He's still Spiderman!]

“He's getting away!” he snarled at his boxes. He was normally too bored to use his teleportation device but he pulled it out for the second time that day. He needed to be fast, be better, and he needed to save Peter.

 

“Wade!”

 

He ignored Captain America and teleported to the building just a head of where Man Spider was heading. He dropped lightly on to the roof and calmly walked to the edge.

{We jump on three.}

[One.]

{Two.}

“Three,” he said and took the jump off. His heart was momentarily in his throat as he fell through the air. Man Spider swung into him hard, but he managed to wrap an arm around his thick neck and spin himself around. He was having a man-spider back ride now. Grinning, he tugged at Man Spider's fur.

 

“You with me, Spidey?”

The creature snarled and grabbed him with one of his many arms, throwing him on to the roof a of a building. Deadpool rolled with it. His face was stinging. He stood up and wiped his face, his hand coming away sticky with blood.

['Tis but a scratch!]

{A scratch? We bit our tongue off!]

“oh weh 'innit!”

 

He spat out some more blood.

[We've had worse.]

 

Man Spider was spewing some kind of acid at him now. He wrinkled his nose. It was hard to picture perfect Peter as this thing in front of him.

 

“Parker?” he tried again, jumping a few feet backward. He had Man Spider's attention. But there was no recognition in the many red eyes. His eyes scanned over him. “I don't know what to do with you, baby boy. I know you wouldn't want to hurt anyone but I don't want to hurt you.”

 

Peter ran at him, his many arms swinging. Deadpool tried his bolas first, the ropes cracked through the air and entangled Man Spider's legs. The creature stumbled forward, cracking his head on the ground. His boxes began to sing.

 

{He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.}

[Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken .]

{To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away.}

[And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.]

{His head smashed in and his heart cut out.}

[And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged.]

{And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off.}

[And his peni-]

“That's enough music for now, lads,” Deadpool quipped to his boxes. The Man Spider was coming back at them now, the bolas ripped apart on the ground. He had one hand in his satchel, rolling two smoke bombs between his fingers. “Itsy-bitsy spider,” he jumped up on to a billboard. “Climbed up the water spout.”

 

And Man Spider did follow, one clawed hand after the other. He was half way up, snarling at him when Wade dropped the smoke bombs. “Down came the rain and wiped the spider out!”

 

[I thought we were done singing.]

“What can I say, it caught on.”

{I preferred our song.}

“You would. Do you even know the rest of it?”

He waited for an answer but his boxes went silent. He snorted.

“No, you don't, because I don't. We did the bit from the movie. That's all there was to -”

 

He had gotten so caught up in his multilogue that he had forgotten about Man Spider. His friend had climbed to the top and promptly knocked him down. He fell 15 feet unexpectedly, but managed to roll with it. His hand scrapped against the ground as he came to a stop and looked up. Man Spider wasn't watching him any more. Something else had caught his attention.

 

He looked up. Captain America, Thor, Logan, and Storm were arriving on the scene. The winds suddenly picked up, causing Deadpool to be pushed towards Man Spider a bit. He snarled.

 

“What do you think you're doing?”

 

“We're going to capture the little punk,” Logan replied. “Before he hurts somebody.”

“I've got it under control. I can keep him occupied,” Deadpool insisted. “But how do we turn him back?”

 

Man Spider took that moment to decide to leave. Perhaps he was bored. Perhaps there were too many people. But he jumped off the building anyway. Logan rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, you're doing a fantastic job, Wade.”


	8. Judas Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buzzle Bee praise! xD I've never had someone so helpful with a fic before. The spideypool fandom is pretty fantastic. I'm so glad I discovered it. <3

Tracking ManSpider through New York was different from tracking animals or criminals. Spiders didn't leave much of a trail, and ManSpider’s webbing dissolved after a few hours. He started to feel desperate when it was nearing morning and still no spider sightings. Deadpool stopped by a library and picked up a book on spiders, starting to flip through it, trying to understand where a spider would go to live.

{Ni.}

[Ni!]

{Ni!}

[Ni!]

 

His boxes were absolutely no help, making it harder for process information with the non-stop chorus going on in his head. That’s why he talked so much, to help drown out the noise. If he talked often and loudly enough, sometimes he’d forget about them. More commonly, he’d pause for a response and seek them out. It was company.

 

“Loxosceles reclusa, Sicariidae. So the brown recluse is a 6 eyed, venomous spider. So far that fits,” Wade mused. “Hell, even the fur colour makes sense.”

{Ni!}

[Ni!]

{Ni!}

[Ni!]

He snapped the book shut.

“He takes after a Wolf Spider. A recluse lacks the aggression, Spidey has plenty of that going on.”

Unfortunately, the aggression fuelled the spider to keep moving. And it lacked a specific habitat. He called Logan.

“No luck on the research. He takes after an aggressive, mobile species.”

“Just our luck,” Logan corrected him. “So we stick with the original plan, cover as much area as possible.”

Each of them were equipped with a vial of the cure and a map of the city. But it suddenly occurred to Wade they were forgetting Peter’s behaviour. Where did he always travel when above ground was too hostile?

The sewer.

Wade took off his mask and pulled on his hoodie to return the book. He needed a map of the sewer instead. He jogged up the steps and entered the massive building, breathing in deep. The smell of books was intoxicating.

{Not like you can get intoxicated any other way.}

[We’d rather be smoking some dank-]

Wade started humming to cover up the voices. It didn’t endear him to the librarian, the man looking around as if hoping someone else would talk to Wade. When no one appeared he put on a weak albeit friendly smile. His eyebrow raised obnoxiously as Wade finished talking.

“You’re not going to enter the sewers... Are you?” He asked. His pointed nose managed to wrinkle in disgusted. “You won’t take the map into the sewer?”

“Who would go into a sewer? This is for science, I need a reference, man. Why you gotta be so hostile?” Wade demanded.

 

The man looked less than convinced but went to the back room regardless. He reluctantly handed the paper over.

“You’re being loaned this for 3 days. After that it’s .25 cents a day-”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Wade grumbled, snatching the map out of his hand. “I should have it back by tomorrow anyway.”

He scanned the map as he stepped outside, the sun now bright in the sky. He slipped down the nearest dark alley and pulled his mask on before he yanked his hoodie off. It would be best to find an area of town where the was work being done on the sewers, the noise could attract ManSpider. He pulled up a man hole and dropped down, the musky air assaulting his nose. A bright light shone through the darkness from around a corner. Wade paused nearby, that light had to be from a crew.

 

{This is the song that never ends.}

[It goes on and on my friends.]

{Some people started singing it.}

“Not knowing what it was,” Wade cut in.

[And they'll continue singing it forever just because-]

{Cue the screaming.}

 

“Screaming?” Wade asked stupidly. His ears popped, letting him hear the screaming. It also helped that one of the workers came running around the corner. He poked his head around it and grinned at was ManSpider. Some of the workers had lit up the area, ManSpider's web gleaming, behind it eight glowing eyes. One of the workers was struggling in the web, getting even more tangled up in it. His screams were likely what sparked the panic. He pulled out his katana.

 

{Boy, is he a screamer.}

[Kinda cute too, them muscles-]

“Shut up!”

Deadpool ran up next to the light on the wall and kicked off, his katana slicing through the webbing nearest to him. The victim collided with a thwack! against the wall. Now the victim was out of the way he turned to grin at ManSpider.

“So, baby boy, how are you?”

A long hairy leg swung at him. He jumped back to avoid it.

“Cranky, and I get it, Pete. You’re not you when you’re hungry.”

It seemed ManSpider only gott as annoyed with Deadpool as Spiderman would get. The creature paused for a moment and then refocused on to the struggling prey. He was coated in webbing now, having almost all of it fall on him. 

“Oopsie!” Deadpool sang out. ManSpider’s leg grabbed the webbing and was dragging him closer. “No snacking. It’ll ruin your appetite and I'm making tacos for our date.”

He pulled out his lasso and cowboy hat.

[They’re a matching set.]

{They match, they’re not a set.}

“Yee-haw!” He yelled as he swung the lasso out.

It caught ManSpider around his fangs and he began tugging him away from his food. He had to really put his strength into it. Although he was exceptionally strong, he didn’t have super strength like Spidey. Just as he was throwing all his weight into it, the rope inexplicably went slack in his hands. Startled, Wade looked back. The creature was backing up, his weight on his hind legs and his head was tense. ManSpider was going to coat that civilian with his acid.

{No! Oh come on, Wade!}

[Fuck, this is going to hurt!]

He covered the man with his body and flinched. Strangely enough, when the acid hit him it felt icy cold, his back going numb after a moment. It didn’t last. Far too quickly it turned to a burning sensation.

“There goes my skin,” he croaked. He pulled his katana around and sliced through the webbing. As the man freed himself the rest of the way, Deadpool used more of his smoke bombs to confuse the arachnid. He felt someone tug on him and he turned around to see the man he just saved cowering behind him. He poked him in the chest with his finger.

“Run.”

He fled, spider web’s trailing behind him. Wade snorted.

Then he ate the dirt as his feet were pulled out from under him. ManSpider pulled him up so he was dangling in front of the fangs. Wade pulled the cure out from a pocket, popping the cap off.

“I didn’t realize you were the jealous type, but I’m all yours, baby!”

He stabbed the needle into ManSpider as he was bitten. The creature jerked backward, fangs still in Wade’s shoulder and stumbled into a wall. Wade was dropped on to his ankle and heard a loud snap as it broke. He didn’t need to look down to know the bone was sticking out of it. 

“Fan-fucking-tastic!”

[Walk it off, bro.]

{No, sit this one out. I’m sure it’ll work out fine without us.}

 

ManSpider was holding his gaze, but it’s red eyes were slowly starting to droop closed and he seemed to be shrinking. Wade realized a moment later that it was his fur receding, shrinking away until it was Spiderman standing in front of him, eyes closed. He reacted on instinct as Peter fell forward, catching the younger man and allowing himself to play a cushion as they crashed to the ground. Spiderman was out. Wade’s fingers moved to Peter’s wrist, finding a pulse. A strong one. He shifted so Peter was cradled against his chest, they would rest for a moment, Wade needed his leg healed before they could move. But once he was mobile again, they would need to get to Wade’s safe house. It wasn’t much of a house. It was really an abandoned home that had caught on fire a few years ago. Wade had stored emergency food rations, clothes, and weapons there.

 

Peter felt warm and safe, something he didn’t often experience. He snuggled deeper into the bed only to realize he wasn’t laying down. He was sitting up against someone, tucked against their chest. Cautiously, he cracked one eye open. Deadpool’s red and black suit filled him with some relief. It was someone he knew and could trust at least. Deadpool had his left arm wrapped around him, warm breath moving Peter’s hair as Wade mumbled into it. It was with a start that he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask.

“Wade?” He tried.

His body instantly tensed. Peter wanted to move away, to look up at him, but his body was so sore. It was as if someone took the time to beat him over with metal bats. Which, to be fair, was probably close to the truth.

“You’re with me, baby boy?” Wade asked.

The question was familiar. It sparked some memory in Peter but it was hard to grab a hold of and it slipped from him.

“What happened?”

Wade moved so he could see more of his face. He was still wearing his mask but part of it had been melted away, along with the skin that should have been visible underneath. Wade gave him a toothy grin that reminded Peter of Halloween.

“Do you remember being shot?”

“Yeah,” Peter answered. He moved to touch the injury but it was gone. It was gone and his suit was torn. It felt like an ice cube was dropped down his throat.

“That shot was meant to given you a mutagen. You broke out a window at Stark Tower, beat me up and disappeared for a few hours. The X-Men and the Avengers were looking for you.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

“No.”

“Wade.”

“I took the hit, it was my choice to be hurt by you,” Wade rambled quickly. He shifted so Peter’s weight was mostly on his right.

Peter winced as he was shuffled around. Oh yeah, he was covered in bruises. He wasn’t even sure he could get home on his own. He looked down at his wrists. Web shooters were clearly missing. Great.

“What do you mean you took the hit?” he asked. There was a long stretch of silence. It was so unlike Wade that it filled him with panic. So Peter pulled away. Wade’s hands reluctantly dropped from him. “What does that mean?”

“You aren’t you, when you mutate,” Wade explained.

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know. I’m dangerous. What happened?”

“I knew you’d go somewhere familiar. The spider didn’t seem to have a specific habitat, but you do. You go to the sewer when the world above is too hostile.”

Peter flushed red.

“So my predictable behaviour is to run to the sewers?” He squeaked.

“There’s worse places to run. Stark Towers for one,” Wade said as he nudged him.

[He looks like he’s going to be sick.]  
{Do something!}  
Panicked, Wade started rambling.

“It really doesn’t matter. Everyone came out of it fine-”

{Deflect! Deflect!}

[Mention his cute ass, maybe that’ll get him off the subject.]

“And I saved this cute ass,” he gave a weak smirk and squeezed Spiderman’s arm. Peter wasn’t having it though. He screwed up his face against the pain as he moved out of Wade’s embrace.

“I need to know, you may think you’re doing me a favour by keeping it from me, but you’re not.”

Wade tossed up his arms. His jaw bone was starting to heel over. Wade must have caught him looking because he pulled out a different mask. He wanted to watch though, it wasn’t every day he got to see something like that. But it was on before he had the courage and Peter pushed it aside as Wade talked.

“You were going to kill this bystander. I don’t know if you were planning on eating him or what, but he had been caught up in a giant web. I recognized your stance. You were going to spew that venom all over him. So I shielded him from it. It splattered most of my right side. Manspider was furious, I was barely able to cut the guy down before I was thrown into a wall.”

Peter felt as though he couldn’t get enough air. He cupped his hands over his mouth.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Wade tried to sooth him. “Everyone got out fine. You’re cured. We know who attacked us and changed you. We can handle this.”

But Peter couldn’t just turn his anxiety off. He hated that someone could turn his powers against him, let him loose on the city as a monster. If Wade hadn’t been there, he would have killed that man. Wade...And that’s when it hit him. Wade had come out and found him. Wade prevented him from killing someone. He didn’t seek approval or credit. He even knew him well enough to know where he’d be.

He leaned back against Wade, suddenly exhausted. His breathing mellowed. Over almost as quickly as it hit. His body always ached after hyperventilating, even more so after the beating he took.

“Up you get, Spidey,” Wade said. He had gripped him by the arm pits and was forcing him to his feet. “I’ll carry you. We need to get somewhere a bit more comfortable. I’ve got a safe house nearby.”

Wade picked him up bridal style and wagged his eyebrows at him. 

“I’m going to make tacos. You’ll love them. “ Wade pulled off his mask. The skin was mostly healed now. “Wear this, everyone knows who I am anyway.”

Peter rolled the mask in his sweaty hands. His heart was beating hard in his chest. Wade shifted him in his arms again.

“Come on, Spidey, cov-”

Peter put his hands on either side of Wade’s face to hold him in place as he leaned up. Their lips touched, softly at first. Peter pressed into it though, pulling Wade closer and screwing up his face. It felt good. He hadn’t had this kind of human affection in so long. His growing feelings for Wade, what Wade had done for him, he was hoping to impress on to him with this kiss.

He broke away. He could feel his cheeks heating up so Peter pulled the mask down. His arm dropped to his stomach and the other over Wade’s shoulder. He almost didn’t want to look up but Wade hadn’t moved or talked.

“Did I break you?” he asked.

Wade finally blinked and seemed to come back to earth.

“Mind control,” he said. “Possibly a side effect of that cure or mutagen. Anyway, don’t worry about it. I won’t forget about it, but it’s- you know- it’s fine. I understand that wasn’t done out of your own free will.”

{Smooth.}

[Wade Wilson, the wrecker of ships.]

“I didn’t wreck any ships!” he snapped.

Peter raised an eyebrow at him.

“Um...okay, well ships aside… I’m not under mind control, it’s not a side effect and I would like to do it again. After tacos.”

Wade looked down at him skeptically but shrugged.

“Well, if it’s a side effect, it’ll wear off.”

“Wade-”

Deadpool put a finger to his lips. It’s smelled metallic and Peter was sure covered in someone’s blood. Probably Wade’s own. He swatted it away.

“Where are we going?”

“Brooklyn,” Deadpool answered easily.

The house Deadpool brought him to was huge. It also had a rusted fence with peeling white paint, most of the windows had boarded up. It may have been a white house once, but now the only colour to it was a bleached blood red trim around the roof, the rest a dappled grey. The was an overhanging that Wade took them under. He kicked the door open. Peter glanced up at him. Yup, he was grinning.

“I got to carry you bridal style over the threshold.”

Peter snorted back a laugh but lost the battle.

“You’re such a nerd,” he managed to gasp between giggling.

“I live to entertain,” Wade replied dryly. “This is my abode.”

“It’s…” Peter trailed off as he took in the living room. A single, dark blue couch was in the middle of the room. A tiny, analog, box tv on a milk crate in front of it. The windows in the room had been boarded up. The entire place reeked of stale smoke. Peter sneezed. “It’s perfect.”

Wade snorted.

“It’s comfortable. I grew up in places like this,” he replied. Wade deposited Peter on the couch and then clapped his hands together. “I’m going to get us tacos, you stay put.”

Peter winced as he got comfortable. The couch smelled of dust and mold, it’s springs were pressing against him hard. That wouldn’t be much help for his sore body. Wade paused only to dig out a communicator. He pressed it into Peter’s hand.

“You may need this.”

Peter flipped through the 5 tv channels while he waited for Wade to return. It was nothing besides soap operas. Then the noon news came on. Peter realized with a start that Wade had been gone for hours and it shouldn’t take that long for tacos, unless he was making them somewhere else. He pushed himself up. Was there even a working kitchen in this place?

He was preparing to stand up when JJ’s voice caught his attention. Peter went cold as he turned back to the TV.

“Oscorp has been attacked. The terrorist have escaped. The police haven’t released any more information at this time.”

The imagine on the tv was of smoke billowing out into the sky, flames licking out the windows. Peter stood too quickly and stumbled. He ended up on the ground. Groaning he tried to stand again. His legs shook but he managed it. The communicator dug into the palm of his hand but he slipped it into his pocket instead. He had a back up suit and web shooters in this neighborhood. He needed to get to Deadpool before the Avengers did.


	9. He's Batman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to Buzzle Bee! I hope you feel better soon <3 <3

Despite his injuries, Peter pushed himself to get to Oscorp. At one point his arms were so weak he couldn't hold on to the web any more, and crashed onto a building roof. It wasn't graceful either. He landed face first, busting his nose on the concrete. And instead of rolling with it, he just skidded to a stop. Perfect. He pushed himself up and yanked the mask off. Blood was pouring down his face, and he could already feel there was bruising. That was even better. Well done, Parker, he thought bitterly. He smeared the blood as he attempt to clean his face off, one of the eyes on his mask already tinted red from the blood.

He stood up. What a mess he made of this. If he could ask for help- but no. He didn’t want Wade to think he didn’t trust him. Wade had kept his promise of no killing for this long. He was his friend, he had saved Peter and countless others from ManSpider. He had to trust that Wade would do the right thing in this situation as well. He pulled his mask over his face gingerly before taking his running leap off the building.

His arm swung up and he shot out a web, catching the nearest building. He smiled as he swooshed through the air. Web slinging never got old. The adrenline rush as he hit the open air, the heart in his throat feeling as the web caught him. It was hard to worry about what was waiting for him. He was close now, the air was thick with the smoke. He landed on a building and walked to the edge.

The fire was worse than he expected. The flames were all consuming, licking out any door or window, feeding on the strong winds. Spiderman hesitated for a moment at the smoke billowing out. It didn’t seem possible for him to even breath in that. But a scream solved his dilemma. He couldn’t stand out here when someone was going to die in there, even if that meant he would die with them. He opted to crawl in through a window. His mask was providing some protection from the flames, though it still burned and his eyes watered. He crawled along the floor to avoid as much of the smoke as possible.

“Hello?” He called out. “Someone order a rescue?”

“Over here!” A man’s voice called out. He scurried around a few desks, only to find Norman Osborn. He was bruised and bleeding, his right leg broken. He scowled at the sight of Spiderman though. “Spiderman.”

Peter couldn’t resist himself, the words were out before he realized he was talking, “Where? I’m his biggest fan!”

Norman closed his eyes out of irritation. Well at least Wade hadn’t killed him. Just maimed him. Peter could accept maiming. This day was already getting better than he expected.

“Beggars don’t get to be choosers, Normie,” Spiderman informed him with a smile. “Besides, it could be worse. No one could be showing up to save you. Just don’t stab me in the back.”

His Spider sense went off. He looked up in time to see the ceiling collapsing on them. He yelled in surprise and shot his webs up, jumped to the wall and pulled. He was higher up now and the smoke was much, much worse from his new position. He wanted to tell Osborn he’d have to get himself out but he couldn’t, the smoked choking him every time he tried. He needed a different plan-

“Spidey! I thought you were going to wait for tacos?”

Spiderman almost dropped the webs, the ceiling managing to fall a few inches before he was able to get it under control. Deadpool was standing to his left. covered in soot, his suit torn in a few places. He could see what was an old injury on his right leg. Spiderman was torn between fear and relief. If he could get Deadpool to help, they might all make it out alive.

“Wade!” He choked out.

“We gotta get out of here, baby boy. This whole place is going to come down and even Osborn’s men won’t be able to put it together again,” he cackled at his little joke and held out his hand.

Spiderman shook his head. He wasn’t going to leave. Osborn was still alive, there was still a chance for them to all get out of here in one piece. But as he looked into Wade’s blue eyes, he felt a certainty wash over him. Wade had no intention of allowing Osborn to walk out alive. No matter what Spiderman wanted.

“Please!”

Wade shook his head. He jumped on to a nearby desk and leaned in so his forehead was touching Spiderman’s. Peter leaned into it. Even though he knew Wade’s intentions, the touch was comforting.

“You’ll understand,” Wade said softly.

“Don’t do this,” Peter pleaded. His heart was twisting. He looked past the mask, to Wade’s eyes. They were wide with the pupils blown. There was barely any color left. He was scared too.

“You have to get out of here,” Wade said. His eyes changed then, becoming hard and determined. Peter felt a jolt of fear. He opened his mouth to protest when something struck him in the temple. He dropped like a bag of bricks.

Deadpool pulled Spiderman to his chest just as the ceiling came down. He managed to get to a window with only one heavy object knocking into his shoulder, ignoring He ignored Osborn’s yells. Osborn deserved this. It needed to end. 

 

Wade couldn't just jump right out the window though. Outside, on the fire escape he pulled off one of Peter’s gloves, leting it drop as he removed the web shooter and placed it on his own arm.

{WE FINALLY GET TO USE IT!}

[Trade masks! Oh oh oh! Trade suits! This will be great!]

Wade opted to ignore his boxes, instead making sure Spiderman was held tightly to him before taking that step off the edge. He took them to the nearest building, his entirely body jittery with nerves as his feet touched the ground. It was one thing for him to plummet to his death, Spidey wouldn’t come back if he fucked that up. His boxes sobered immediately.

{Did you see his face?}

“No.” [No.]

{He didn’t want this.}

“It was too late. Save him or save Norman? That’s not a choice.”

{He’s going to be upset.}  
[He’ll understand!]

“We found proof he was after his aunt. Even goody goody Spiderman wouldn’t be okay with that.”

Wade paced the roof. What he did was reasonable. Osborn was a bad man, he kept hurting people and no one was stopping him. He stopped him, now no one else would get hurt by him. It’s done. It’s over. Really, this is what being a hero was all about. He didn’t need approval or to be liked. He saved people. He saved countless people from Osborn. He saved Peter and his aunt from Osborn. Spiderman can take his judgement and shov-

Spiderman was stirring and groaned. One hand went to cradle his head as he sat up.

“Oww,” he said weakly. Deadpool shifted from foot to foot. Spiderman was taking in his surroundings, his memory catching up to him. Any moment now he would remember.

“What did you do?” He asked. His voice was quiet but Wade wasn’t fooled. He was brimming with anger.

“I saved you,” he answered cooly. He pulled out a blade and began digging dirt out from his nails.

{Play it cool.}

[Yeah, we totally don’t care if he’s mad about it.]

“You asshole!” Spiderman yelled. He shot out a web, covering Deadpool’s mouth. As the merc fought to get it off, Spiderman kicked him in the head. He went down. Before he had time to register what was happening, Spiderman yanked him up by his suit and pulled him to his face. “Why? Why did you kill him?!”

“Ih ninint!” Deadpool said. Spiderman ripped the webbing off. “I didn’t. I decided to save you, over him. There’s a difference.”

{That’s what Batman says, Batman can’t be wrong.}

[Batman isn’t in this universe though.]

Spiderman punched him in the face. Deadpool stumbled back, holding his face and laughing.

“There isn’t a difference! You started that fire, you brought that building down! It was my responsibility to keep them safe, don’t you dare put his death on me! You should have saved him!” Peter was raging now, unable to accept what happened.

“Right, next time I’ll save the mass murderer who was after the both of us. Who was targeting your Aunt, who-”

“He was after Aunt May?” Spiderman cut in. He felt wrong footed. Aunt May was off limits, she was the only family he had left. But he mentally shook himself. It didn’t matter. He could have kept her safe without anyone dying.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Deadpool asked. He was standing there, breathing heavy. He ripped his mask off and wiped the blood off his face. It merely smeared it, leaving a red stain across his scarred skin. “You don’t get to protect the baddies. They made their choice. If they die so someone else can live, that’s not a bad thing!”

“No one has to die! We have a responsibility to at least try-”

 

“And we tried! He didn’t have to come at you, he didn’t have to shoot you, target your aunt, steal from me, but he did! And when I tried to stop him, his empire came crashing down on to him. I had the choice to save you or him. That wasn’t much of a choice, Pete. I would pick you again. I wouldn’t change any of it.”

“Then you haven’t learned anything. I made my choice to sacrifice myself for this city. All of the citizens, Wade. I vowed to protect them all. Even Norman. You had no right to take that decision from me, to put that life on me.”

“His death isn’t on you, it’s on him and maybe on a smaller level, me. But not you. Your morals are your opinions, Spidey. Mine aren’t the same. I stopped a bad man. It would be wrong to let him continue to destroy lives!’

Spiderman let out a frustrated growl, his hands balled up into fists. He hit Wade with another web, right in the mouth. Then he stormed off the side of the building and swung away. Wade pulled out a dagger and cut it off. He sliced into his skin a bit but it healed as quickly as it had bled.

{Well it went better than we expected.}

“It did?” Wade asked his boxes. “It seemed to go pretty shitty if you ask me.”

[I’m not sure anyone did ask you.]

“Look, he beat us up, he doesn’t accept Norman’s death, he blames us. It went really, really bad. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t send Stark-” Wade stopped dead in his rant.

{You forgot about Stark didn’t you?}

[Writer forgot about Stark. This is not our fault.]

{Does that mean killing Osborn isn’t on us?}

[Good luck convincing Peter of that.]

He decide to take his bad temper out on Tony. He shook the crate Tony was in and yelled, “Anyone home?”

There was a bang as Stark threw himself against the wall.

“You asshole!” The inventor yelled.

{Popular name tonight.}

[Bit uncalled for, considering it’s Stark calling us it.]

“Kettle meet pot!” Wade yelled back. “I’ll let you out, but you have to behave!”

There was silence. So Wade took that as agreement and opened the door. His years of having a healing factor lead him to make questionable decisions, as Tony came out with a war cry, tackling Wade to the ground.

{This was obviously going to happen.}

[Should have just dropped it off at Stark Tower. Someone would have found him eventually.]

{Or into the water. It’s Stark, he would have figured something out.}

[Or not.]

Unfortunately for Stark, Wade was much stronger and was able to wrestle him easily. He flipped them around so he was on top and pinned his arms down. It didn’t stop Stark from squirming and trying to kick him though. He cuffed his hands together with a pair of fluffy pink cuffs, leering down at him and running a finger from his jaw to his throat.

“I didn’t know you wanted a piece of my ass so badly, that probably explains the attitude. Were you jealous of Peter and I? Well you don’t have to worry about that. Pretty sure Parker hates me so good news!”

He leaned in close and Tony spat at him. It ran down his face and Wade felt a thrill of anger spike through him.

“I’m all yours.”

He head butted him, blood splattering everywhere. Tony was out cold. Wade stood up and dusted his bloodied gloves off. The air stank of metal and dirt. He wrinkled his nose.

{I don’t think Stark wanted in our pants}

Wade snorted and then gagged. The smell in the shipping crate was overwhelming.

{Oh god.}

[It’s all over, man!]

{WHAT DID YOU DO.}

“Me?! We all agreed it was a good idea to shake it! I didn’t make the decision on my own.”

[We’ll have to clean the suit.]

{Should we hose Tony off?}

Wade considered it for a moment and decided against it. The guy was already mad and unconscious. Better to get away before he came around. Plus he needed a shower. Bad.

He went back to his warehouse. Where he then set his suit on fire. No saving that. He didn’t want to walk around dirty and naked for long though. He went to the chemical spill shower. He really enjoyed the high pressure water. The water didn’t improve his mood though. Instead he was stuck on Peter’s voice as he yelled at him earlier. He banged his head off the wall.

{Do you think he’ll ever talk to us again?}

[Yeah, but only to lecture us about his morals.]

He had a cute dress picked out anyway. He needed something to cheer him up after today. It even had little white gloves, Something he was particularly fond of. The pure white was a nice change from the ugly sores and scars. Tired of seeing his body, he ended his shower. He grabbed his fluffy blue towel off the hook and patted himself dry.

He didn’t always wear wigs, but there was a cute hair bow that went with the dress. He couldn’t forgive himself if he split the assemble up. Instead he picked up the russet brown wig, attached the black bow and settled it neatly on his head., the tips gently brushing his shoulders. Then on went the little black dress, with the white gloves, the white stockings, and the white blouse. He tied a black bow to it, pulling it closed.

Well that’s that, he thought bitterly. He didn’t feel any better.

{So we’re angsty and wearing a dress.}

[We could go kill a baddie in the dress. That’d make the paper.]

{Do you remember how Norman screamed when we put the sword through him?}

He was trying to remain angry but that got a smirk out of him. He did remember. It was music.

“Don’t try to cheer me up,” he growled. He sat down on his mound of pillows and blankets. He should put on a movie or something. He shouldn’t be sitting in the dark, alone with only the boxes for company.

{You never appreciate us.}

[No one appreciates him, so he doesn’t know what it’s like.]

{Not much to appreciate, to be fair.]

He looked down at his gloves. They seemed to shine in the dark, the scars on his wrists difficult to make out. He couldn’t change what he was.

{Murderer.}

[Assassin.]

{Freak.}

Peter was supposed to be his friend. Even if he couldn’t agree with his morals, he could at least try to see if from his point of view. Wade had tried to see it from his, he understood Pete had a guilt complex and every death weighed down on him. Wade didn’t have that guilt. He couldn't feel worse letting one person live at the expense of another. He couldn’t get around that rational. So maybe they couldn’t be friends. This one difference in how to be-

[Efficient?]

{Good?}

[A hero?]

 

He shook his head. If his boxes thought he did good, but Spiderman didn’t, then he must have fucked up. This would be all he could amount to and it wasn’t very impressive to the Avengers, but he was still efficient and the best at what he did, even if that was an assassin.

{And Parker can kiss it if he doesn’t agree!}

[You mean kiss us.]

{Apparently that didn’t mean anything either.}

[We called that though.]

{Allergic reaction, side effect.}

[Not real.]

Wade picked up a .45 acp and stuck it under his chin.

[Oh no, come on!]

{We’ll be better!}

[Scout’s honor!]

“It’s not in our nature to be better,” he growled and pulled the trigger.


	10. The Best Part of being Angry

Peter sat at the bottom of his shower. The hot water was soothing on his sore muscles. He glanced down again at the contusions peppered over his skin. Blooming like Bluestar flowers on his arms, torso and legs. He poured more lavender epsom salts into his bath. A sigh escaped him as he settled deeper into the water. 

The bath did nothing for his attitude though. Or his broken nose. He didn’t even want to look in the mirror. Being there on the bottom of the tub only made Peter feel terribly small and alone. Wade was a good person, Peter tried arguing with himself. But good people didn’t kill people. There wasn’t anyway to get around that. 

Osborn had generated immense suffering during his life. Violence beget violence. If it hadn’t been Deadpool, someone else would have eventually killed him. Still Peter couldn’t find the justice in that. Some of his bath bubbles started to crowd around his face. He blew them away. It wasn’t as though Osborn had been convicted of anything. There hadn’t been any due process. 

There was a disconnect between Wade Wilson and Deadpool in Peter’s mind. Even though he knew they were the same person, had always known. Wade Wilson was the guy who had his back when he mutated. The guy who complimented his ass. Deadpool was the wild card. The killer. Peter clenched his fist. Wasn’t he trying to change? Why’d he go straight to slaughtering people anyway? They could have taken Osborn together and dropped him off with SHIELD. That would have been the conscientious route. 

What option did that leave Peter with anyway? Turning his friend over to SHIELD. Which brought up another question. Wade being an assassin was never a secret. Why hadn’t he been arrested before now?

Fueled by his hurt and self-righteousness, Peter pulled the drain and got out. He was going to confront SHIELD and the Avengers on this. As far as he was concerned, everyone was responsible for Norman’s death by not keeping the world safe from Wade or not helping Wade. Wade was ill, wasn’t he? So why weren’t they trying to help him? 

He didn’t expect there to be an entire meeting with the Avengers when he got there. Tony Stark standing just behind Steve Rogers. Agent Coulson in an office swivel chair. He at least looked friendly enough, but Coulson was deceiving at the best of times. Bruce Banner in the far corner. He kept checking the exists and the time. Peter could sympathize with that. He wasn’t looking forward to this discussion. Even Wolverine was snarling from his place nearest Spiderman. Spiderman shot a web up and hung from the ceiling. The tension in the room was extremely thick. He wanted to have a good view in case someone snapped. 

“Why hasn’t anything been done about Wade before now?” He demanded. Bruce held up a hand.

“I did try. He attacked me once hoping the big guy would be able to kill him. I got him psychiatric help. It didn’t do much good.” 

“His doctor was insane and obsessed with him. Even if he could improve, he wouldn’t under those conditions,” Tony responded.

“So you just gave up?” 

“No, he made friends with you, Parker. He seemed to want to do better. Wade can’t die. We can’t lock him up. He’s too unpredictable, too clever. He always finds away to get out,” Coulson said from his swivel office chair. He seemed to be enjoying it far too much considering the topic. Spiderman shot a web at it, effectively stopping Coulson from spinning in his chair.

 

“Wade is like… family,” Captain America said. He seemed to be picking his words carefully. His fingers drummed against the table. “You love family unconditionally. His morality now isn’t as bad as it was previously. He’s trying to be better.”

“So how many bodies do you need before Wade becomes more of a problem?” Spiderman snapped. “A person is dead because of him. Many others could have died when he attacked that building. Why -”

Logan’s growl triggered Spider-Man’s spider sense. He swung up and stuck to the wall, web abandoned. 

“What’s the problem, ugly?”

“You, bub. You broke him,” Logan wrinkled his nose as if there was more he wanted to say but decided against it. He clenchted his fists instead. “You can’t do that to him.”

“Me? He killed Osborn! He lied. He swore off killing and he did it anyw-”

“It’s Wade,” Logan grumbled. He leaned back in his chair so only the back legs were touching. “That’s who he is. You made him feel accepted and you shunned him when he did what Wade does. Do you have any idea what that does to him?”

“He knows I wouldn’t accept him killing.”

“Wade got his healing power from me. We’re both products of government experimentation. We were both messed up by it, him worse than I. We’ve both killed.”

“Doesn’t Wade consider you brothers?” Cap asked with a soft, fond grin. Logan snorted.

“Yeah, brothers of a sort.” 

“So it’s okay to kill as long as an Avenger or X-Men does it?” Spiderman demanded. He knew he was pushing the issue with them, but he couldn’t understand the hypocrisy.

Logan unsheathed his claws. He pointed them at Spiderman as he stood and walked by him.

“You’re going to fix this, Parker. I need him for a mission. So either you get me a functioning Deadpool or I’m taking a crippled spider.” 

Logan stormed out. 

“So is he why Wade’s never been arrested?” he demanded, turning back to the others. 

“No,” Coulson answered. He was currently doubled over, cutting at the web holding back his chair. “Wade is the exception. He was on our wanted list. That is until he showed us he does have humanity. Wade still takes jobs to kill bad people. If he deems them not bad, he saves them. This is as close to a hero as Wade will ever get. “

“He kills people. For profit.” Peter tried again. It sounded lame to his own ears because while it maybe true, it didn’t paint an accurate picture.

“It’s your choice not to accept him, Parker. But SHIELD won’t be arresting him.”

Coulson stood and signaled to the others the discussion was over. Peter stiffly landed on his feet to walk out. But Tony grabbed his shoulder.

“I agree with you. Something should be done abo-”

Peter shrugged his hand off.

“You almost got me killed,” he snarled.

“And Wade almost killed me!” Tony yelled. “You’re right, he’s dangerous. He can’t be allowed to keep roaming with how unstable and questionable his actions are.”

If Peter could spit fire, this would be the moment. He was torn between his fear of what Wade would do again and his loyalty to the man. Because whatever Wade was, he was still his friend. He made his decision as he met Tony’s khaki brown eyes. 

He shoved pass Stark.

“Wade’s my problem, not yours.”

 

Peter knocked. It was starting to drizzle rain now. Which only seemed fitting. He had put some effort into his appearance. Now his hair was plastered to his head. This was definately Peter Parker luck. He knocked again and then pushed the door open. He wasn’t going to get soaked because Wade was sulking. He was still upset as well. Wade wasn’t the only one with emotions. 

“Wade?”

The lights were on but there wasn’t any movement. Wade’s stuff was everywhere though. Clothes strewn about the floor. Empty cans and tins of food. There was something smouldering inside the 30 gallon fire barrell. Peter took a peek inside. The smell was awful. Whatever it used to be, Peter couldn’t tell. It was mostly ashes. At least he knew he was still in the city. 

He felt uneasy as he walked through the building. Each foot step seemed to echo. It occurred to him that Wade may be asleep. He jumped to one of the rafters and quietly wall crawled over to the bed. There was no reason to wake him. Who knows how Wade would react to someone sneaking up on him while he was sleeping.

He let out a breath of air he hadn’t realized he was holding when he spotted Wade. He was on his makeshift bed. Peter dropped down lightly and walked closer. He was going to check on him and leave. He could come back later. He wasn’t at all surprised to find Wade in a dress. It actually looked nice. But the red on the white…

That was blood.

He had seen Wade dead before. It wasn’t the long ago when he found him shot in front of that donut shop. But this seemed a bit different. More personal. More intimate. He had taken great care with his appearance. Peter’s legs carried him closer, the gifts he had brought dropping to the ground with a clatter. 

The white stockings on his legs seemed to be the only bit of clothing that escaped the blood splatter. Peter grabbed his gloved hands and squeezed them. They were icy cold. He had to been out for a while then. He couldn’t leave now. He wouldn’t forgive himself if Wade came back alone after everything that had happened. 

Peter crawled into the bed, gingerly placing Wade's head onto his lap. He tried not to think about the bits of brain matter he was sitting in. He didn't want to move him. He didn't feel like he had the right to move him. This is where Wade wanted to be when he came back to life. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He did this. He pushed Wade to this, he knew that. He was such a selfish asshole at the worse of times.

His fingers trailed down Wade's arms. He was gently caressing his skin. He needed to make up for this. He needed to show Wade he was accepted and that it was Peter with the problem. Knowing Wade, this wouldn't be an easy task. His self-esteem was so low. He put his hand down to get more comfortable, only to place it in something like wet yarn. Curious he picked it up. If it were possible to feel even worse, this did it. A wig with golden locks and a large black bow. It was soaked in blood and brain tissue. He dropped it.

Maybe he should clean up. Wade didn't need to see all of this as soon as he came back. He leaned over, pressed a kiss to Wade's forehead and slipped out from under him. He was going to clean. He knew it would take a while for Wade to come back. This was the least he could do to make up for it. To show him that he mattered and Peter cared.

Cleaning up consisted of knocking the brain matter off the pillows and blankets. Unfortunately, he learned a long time ago that blood didn't come out of fabric easy. Lots of soap, cold water, and scrubbing. Good thing he had practice. Being Spiderman meant a lot of his clothes ended up with blood on it. All of his experience didn’t save his fingers from freezing as he scrubbed. 

It was easy to get lost in mindless work. He scrubbed until the red was gone. He hung it up from his web and pulled another out of the basket next to the water basin. When he got to the wig, he was at a loss or rather- it was. Even if he managed to clean it, there was still a gaping hole in the back. He sighed and held it out in front of him. Maybe he could buy another one for him instead. P

He chucked the wig into the fire barrel and moved on to the next item. It was when he was digging his knuckles into the fabric that he realized he was hearing something. He froze and slowly turned around. Wade was sitting up on his bed, head bowed.

His heart was beating in his best so loudly, he was sure Wade would hear it. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe Wade wanted to wake up in his own blood. No one really asked did they? He wasn’t sure anyone ever concerned themselves with what Wade Wilson wanted. He tried to greet himself instead of panicking.

“Hey, I was just- um...”

Wade was standing now. He looked oddly intimidating in those heels. Peter's tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth. Say something! He thought viciously at himself. Don't just oggle him, say something!

“You look….Nice...I like your stockings. They really...”

Wade hadn't stopped walking until he was directly in front of him. Toe to toe. Peter looked up and met his gaze. He didn't seem mad. Just ...confused and sad. 

“You look amazing,” Peter breathed.

The corner of Wade's lip twitched but the merc quickly got it under control. Something clattered as Wade held out his hands. Peter's attention was drawn to the gift he had brought. He had forgotten about it. He thought it best showed Wade he accepted him.

“What is this?”

“Er- a remington, I think,” Peter said. He bent to peer at the gun closer. “I was hoping you'd have a better idea, to be honest. Aren't you a gun enthusiast? I thought you'd appreciate it.”

“It's a Remington M2010 ESR, bolt- action sniper rifle. Yeah, I can appreciate that. And this?” Wade asked as he held out the single red rose he found next to the rifle. Peter flushed a bright red. He seemed to be incapable of speaking at the moment. 

Wade didn't know what to think and this Peter who lacked confidence wasn't giving up the details.  
[Shake him.]  
{Kiss him, that'll get him moving.}  
Wade agreed. It'd get some reaction out of the skittish man in front of him. So he learned forward. He could see Peter's eyes widened slightly. Their mouths touched momentarily and Wade pulled back. He was caught on Peter's hand as it cupped the back of his neck and pulled him forward. He stumbled into Peter. Peter was more solid than he would have previously thought.  
{Built like a buick.}  
[Tough like a two dollar steak.]  
Wade snorted.  
“mmet ik ugar,” he mumbled into Peter’s mouth. 

Peter did break away at that.

“What?” he laughed. 

Wade pushed the gun into his hands and took a step back.

“Well this has been fun, but hallucination time is over,” Wade said dismissively. He turned his back to him and walked away. One hand in the air. “I've got things to do, people to kill.”

Peter frowned and followed after him as Wade pulled a Deadpool suit out of a plastic clothes closet. He threw the dress over his shoulder and it smacked Peter in the face. A moment later he had pulled it off but Wade was already dressed, his mask being yanked over his scarred face.

“I sssaiiidd, we're done,” Wade sung. He pulled one of his swords out and began spinning it. “Comprendre, mon capitaine?”

“Wade, I don't understand,” Peter said slowly. He was holding up his hands in an offering of peace. “I came over to apologize and to bring you a gift.”

“Yeah, problem with that spider-bro, you're not real.”  
{He felt real.}  
[Do a reality check, he isn't going away.]  
“This is us,” Wade said. “This isn't Peter. He doesn't want anything to do with murderers. He made that crystal fucking clear.”

Peter frowned. So apparently him being nice wasn't a very common occurrence. He could do better. He pointed weakly to the cleaning he had been doing. But Wade was back to arguing with himself. If things turned south, which seemed likely, Peter wanted to be dressed for the occasion.

Wade’s confusion made Peter uneasy. This was just another issue Peter was responsible for creating. He pulled his suit out of his bag and slipped into it as Wade was still busy with himself. He felt more confident behind the mask, something he could relate to Wade in that matter. When he turned back around he found Deadpool gone. 

He turned on the spot. Deadpool was nowhere to be seen. He sighed. Great. Where would he go? He swung to the nearest open window. The rain was still just a trickle. He hated going out in the rain though. It was always miserable. His suit stuck to him uncomfortably when it was wet. He crawled out and up to the roof. As he poked his head over, something whizzed by him. 

He flipped over the edge and blindly shot out his web, hoping to immobilize or at least slow Deadpool down. He managed to catch on something, so he pulled hard. The object snapped to his hands. He landed and looked down at his prize. 

It was a bomb. He caught a bomb. He yelped and kicked it into the air. It was in the air a few feet before it gave off a tiny explosion. A whole lot of purple glitter coated him as a tiny black card floated down. He caught it between two fingers. 

It had a Deadpool emblem on it. That’s all it had on it. He crushed it in his hand. He was quickly becoming irritated. That bomb had scared the hell out of him. But the glitter was a step too far.

“Do you know how long I’ll be finding purple glitter on me, Wilson?” He yelled. 

“I don’t think you’ll ever stop finding it. There was a lot of fucking glitter in that bomb.”  
{Why are we pissing off Spiderman?}  
“Because A this is a hallucination, not real and B. even if that really is Spiderman, he deserves it,” Wade scoffed. He was waving his hands in the air as he tried to explain.

Spiderman preyed on his distraction. Deadpool was attuned to his movements though. His voices had his attention, but not his focus. As Spiderman glanced up, Deadpool knew he’d be shooting a web and swinging up. As Spiderman came at him, Wade stepped to the side. He caught Spiderman by the middle and swung him. Only-

[You forgot how Spiderman is known for being agile.]  
{And those hands clinging to your suit? Also something he’s well known for.}  
“Also a bit of a turn on, something els-”

Spiderman let go and landed on his feet. He was standing a few feet away, head cocked to the side. Deadpool lunged, a hooked blade swinging at Spiderman’s legs. Spiderman quickly back flipped out of the path. His feet hit the wall and he propelled himself up and over Deadpool. As he landed he shot out a web and jerked the sword away. Another web hit Deadpool’s back and he swung him around. 

Deadpool hit the end of the web and it snapped. He tumbled on to his side, rolling to a stop. Spiderman realized with dismay that the purple glitter was all over Deadpool and in the webs. Everywhere.

It was a plague. He groaned. If anyone ever wanted to find out someone’s secret identity all they had to do was coat that person in glitter. The rain didn’t even seem to have an effect on it. 

One breathless second later, Wade was coming back at him. He had another blade out. Spiderman took a step forward, into Deadpool's space. He wrenched his mask off. He let out a hiss of pain as he leaned into the blade. He could feel the blade kiss his throat. A slight burning sensation. 

“I trust you and I'm sorry, Wade,” he was standing firmer than he felt. Wade’s eyes darted between his own. He was searching for something. His brow scrunched as he thought. He had that familiar coldness to his eyes. The same look he got whenever he was upset. 

Deadpool shook his head. His blade was tossed aside as he took a step away. 

“No, no, no! You don't trust me. Do you want to die? Is that what this is? You think I'll kill you?” he demanded. He was still moving away, as if he thought Spiderman would be safer farther away.

“Of course not! Wade, I realized something earlier today. I had no right to hold you to higher expectations than I would an Avenger or an X-Men. Some of them have done considerably worse, in fact.” He pulled at his own hair for a moment. “I didn't want to blame myself, so I blamed you for what happened. But ... it wasn't on you either. It was Osborn's fault.”

Wade was breathing heavy but he had at least stopped moving away. Peter was starting to worry about the ledge he had been edging closer to. Even though Wade couldn't die, a fall from 5 stories would still hurt like a bitch.

[We're still hallucinating.]  
{Spidey would never buy us a gun or apologize to us.}

“Well I'm pretty sure he did apologize, usually our hallucinations aren't that nice,” Wade snapped. He looked off to the side and paused for a moment. His eyes rolled and he looked back over at Spiderman. “You did apologize, didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“There, I told you.”

[Ask about the kiss.]  
“No.”  
{He might give us another one!}  
“Or he might kick us in the teeth. I'm not going to ask about it.”

“I won't ...I won't kick you,” Peter said. He was cringing on the inside. Was he really that awful? He was starting to feel like the world's biggest, self centered, asshole. “I owe you some explanations after today.”

“Fine,” Deadpool yelled. His hands went into the air as if he was surrendering. “But at least buy me some comfort food.”

Peter closed the distance between them and put his arm around Wade’s waist.

“Deal.”  
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm pretty sure I have the flu. Get vaccinated. I didn't even realize the vaccination was available yet. Blah! 
> 
> So here's the thing. I was hoping to have this story done by now. It's not. Obviously. I'm starting a new story (Spideypool fic) for NaNoWriMo. That means I probably will not update this story until after November. I'm sorry. I'll try to squeeze in weekly updates but I wouldn't count on them. Thank you and I *WILL* be back in December. 100%. :) *sad smile*


End file.
